How Would You Feel?

How would you feel if you had to go to work everyday wondering if your co-workers had gone to the polls and just voted against your relationship, if they had just invalidated you forever?

How would that make you feel?

I'm finding out the hard way. Our state ACLU has been trying to help us fight a legal way out of this, but the inevitable will probably come in November. Citizens will push buttons and pull levers in Tennessee to validate or invalidate my 10 year monogamous relationship.

The concept still astounds me. Jesus, all I want to do is to be left alone so I can care for my partner. Why does this bother everyone so much?


At 21:25, Blogger Tonito Bandito said...

I will help you fight the fight. Let me know how I can help from here in Georgia.

At 07:01, Blogger Ms. Julien in Miami said...

Have you ever thought about moving? I know not as easy as it sounds, but it seems that if all of the creatives (and a lot of other intelligencia) move from these discriminating states, they would be in a world of hurt.

At 09:25, Blogger RedStateExile said...

Thanks Tonito! I don't know if there is much help for TN. Our local organization is doing the usual "talk to your friends, family, co-workers... (blah, blah, blah)" spill. Nice, but for the money getting funneled into this group (and I thought about joining and supporting too) I wish I saw them getting more vocal, like ads in the paper, write ups in the opinion section, very public fundraisers, etc. Not just emails to their listserv and HRC parties at the local gay bar.

For Christ's sake, they want us to be public and out there with everyone, but where are they?

At 09:30, Blogger RedStateExile said...

Actually, I have thought of moving, Ms. Julien. Unfortunately, my partner is almost halfway through her PhD so moving would be tough right now. Once she's ABD though, the opportunities will be much more open for us.

I agree though. These cities and states will feel a "brain and talent drain" when young and open-minded (not just gay but also straight) people leave their areas. My hometown is very repressive and no one that is even slightly progressive can stand to stay.

At 11:48, Blogger Red Letter Rev said...

I know exactly how you feel. Before the last national election, I begged my usually understanding co-workers to carefully consider their votes and that some of the legislation proposed would directly affect me and mine.

Didn't do a lick of good. Even when people can see the devastating effects, they still vote the kkkoolade. Ever since then, I have carried a feeling of quiet betrayal and somehow, I had been put firmly in a second-class status. They may have just as well said the n-word to my face for the way it feels.

My resume is out on Monster and a couple of other places. I'm outta here to a truer, bluer place

At 12:12, Blogger RedStateExile said...

I know, 'Manda! I wanted to say more in my comment to Tonito that ran along the lines of what you said.

There's this tolerable silence at work, but you feel the knife turn when others get asked about their weekends or so much enthusiasm is shown over someone's baby pictures and such.

It's like my co-workers know they have to deal with having a gay person in the office because this is the only employer in the area that doesn't discriminate (at least, openly). That doesn't mean they have to be particularly welcoming either.

So, while these high-falutin' orgs want us to open ourselves to these people and they hold out their hands at fundraisers (yet for more of the GLBT dollars), I think I know what will be said to me and I'm not ready or willing to hear it.

I know what I need to know and I am who I am. If I'm not good enough that way, then fuck 'em. I don't need them.

I'm trying to do some consulting on the side to get a few bucks in too. Hopefully, it'll be enough to get out from under the debt and out of here.

I don't want to be around them anymore than they want to be around me.

At 13:08, Blogger lavndrwmon said...

I try to talk to my coworkers regularly about the ramifications of passing anti-gay marriage/civil union legislation to find that most are just plain apathetic. It doesn't affect them so why should they care? My response is that it might affect them some day, it might affect their children or grandchildren so they should think twice.
The Minnesota Legislature is considering putting on the Novemenber ballot a vote to add a Constitutional Amendment banning Gay marriage and they way things are looking it may pass. My heart breaks daily as I read and hear these right wing fanatics lie about our lives. There doesn't seem to be any way to stop them.

Like you I just want to be left alone to live my life with my partner and to enjoy the rights that everyone in this country is guaranteed in the Constitution.

At 13:14, Blogger RedStateExile said...

You're right! I think some people are just apathetic. They can't imagine that it will ever affect them or anyone they REALLY care about, like a loved one. But I think they'd be surprised that if they spoke out as heterosexuals to other heterosexuals that there would probably be more than enough people to stop this bigotry. Unfortunately, just like us, they feel this runaway train is out of control.


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