Red State Exile

Taking Up My Cross

2011-04-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

This article in The Huffington Post made me think about something I haven't given much thought to in a while. I try not to think too much on religious issues, not because it doesn't interest me but because it's a painful topic to rehash. I lived with religion, actively and inactively, even vicariously, all my life. A person can't live in the American South without dealing with religion in some way, shape, or form.

However, this article in particular revived the thought in me about my Cross. All of us have some kind of Cross - a God-given weight or burden - in our life. My partner, who teaches college classes, comes home often with stories of her students saying things like "I've had so much going on. It's just been a tough time for me. You don't understand."

Oh, we understand. Anyone who is human understands. The Pollyanna "Life is Good" and "God is Good" types aren't being real. Life is hard and it has struggles. If it didn't, then what's the point of believing in Heaven? Heaven is supposed to be a reward, and if life is perfect here, then what is there to look forward to?

God never promised us a perfect life if we got saved or believed. It was supposed to be hard. Being a Christian wasn't supposed to be easy. I hear a lot of people say, "I'm so blessed" or making quick Facebook posts or tweets about "Praying for God to bless me."

Why? What have you done that gives you a right to be blessed? Have you...oh, I don't know done something like get nailed on a cross for someone else's sins? Really, we're such an arrogant, self-aggrandizing people!

Anyway, I was thinking about my Cross. You're probably wondering what it is. Okay, maybe not, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

It's my sexuality. The fact that I'm a lesbian is my Cross.

On the surface, that sounds bad, right? If you consider it in light of the article above though and the nature of this season, it makes perfect sense.

Jesus was given a Cross to bear. He was to be the Messiah - the Savior of Mankind. It wasn't something that he wanted, but it was his destiny. He couldn't deny it anymore than he could deny His Heavenly Father. Becoming the Savior was who Jesus was meant to be and who God created Him, in an earthly image, to be. It was a gift bestowed upon Him that was bigger and larger than the seen world. He accepted His Cross with grace and appreciation for He came to understand the world in a way He hadn't before. He went through troubles and tribulations (40 days in the desert) but came out with a deeper understanding of who He was in God.

Please note, I am not trying to compare myself to Jesus, but we are commanded in the Bible to "pick up our Cross." To implies, that we all have one. In that way, we are Christ-like. We have troubles and problems, everyone does...even those Pollyanna "praying for a blessing" types. Perhaps their Cross is that they are keeping up a front for others? Eh, that's their business.

As for my sexuality, I never saw it as a curse or a problem. Yes, it's a complication. Life would be easier (not Cross-free, but easier) if I was heterosexual. No doubt about that! However, I do see my sexuality as a Cross in the sense of a weight or burden to carry. It complicates my life but it makes the living even richer.

It has given me a truer understanding of love. It's not blind. It's eyes wide open. It's not unconditional because we've been let down too many times to believe otherwise. It's not perfect and it's sure as hell not easy. It takes work to continue to love through the pain. I know love when I look at Gabrielle. She can make me so angry, yet I simply want to hold her and protect her from the world. I look at Michelle as she sleeps, and my heart swells with tenderness and affection and a little something more fierce...powerful. The love that I've experienced, and the limits of love, because of my sexuality proves a genuineness that runs deeper than any marriage license can convey. There is a power in the love that is beyond comprehension.

It has shown me the true sense of family. It's not the one you're born into but the one you choose that matters. It's the one you decide to build and make with another. The one that takes precedence over all others. My sexuality has also taught me that family has nothing to do with blood and everything to do with choice.

I've learned about real friendship. The kind that stands up beside another and fights not for our own good but for others as well. In recent years, there have been some friends that I had considered family that let me down. I knew that these were people I would have stood beside in the darkest of moments, yet that mere test wasn't passed by them. I believe even Jesus spoke of true friendship being that in which one will "lay down his life" for another. The number of people I know that would do that have dwindled considerably over the years. Maybe I'm just too cantankerous to love. ;)

My sexuality hasn't been a detriment but a blessing in so many ways. It's opened my eyes and shown me a world that I wouldn't have known otherwise. I've seen the best of human nature (the beauty of a love that bonds souls) and the darkest parts of ourselves when hatred and general disregard, even from those I thought loved me, from others. There's been pain and wonder, lows and highs, hope and despair, but it's all been worth it.

My Cross is my sexuality. Yes, I'm gay, but I'm wonderfully blessed in ways both seen and unseen - a beautiful daughter and a loving spouse, and a heart that knows more of this world than the average person can fathom.

What is your Cross?

The Value of Social Networks

2011-02-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

There are two camps when it comes to the value of social networks. Either sites like Facebook and Twitter are destroying our culture or they're the best thing since fire was invented.

I, personally, fall somewhere in the middle most of the time. However, there are times when I loathe it. Like when someone almost runs me off the road while they're trying to text about American Idol or when my poor college professor wife comes home from a rough day irritated because she gives the students ten different ways to access the same information but they can't bother to write it down or bring it to class. Instead, those students sit there the whole class and text their friends. I need to stop myself now on that topic because I could really go off on a soapbox about it. *sigh*

The good part, but also sometimes not a great part, about place like Facebook is the ability to be in touch with people all over the world, family you rarely see, and friends you'd lost touch with. Sometimes though, you remember why you don't still have those people as a constant presence in your life. Friends make crude or insensitive remarks. An issue or major event happens to you and they don't ackknowledge it. I've even had family members "unfriend" me. I've had former classmates "unfriend" me. One was someone I would have considered a best friend back in the day. These things can be painful and hurt your feelings, but the good part about that is that we learn if we, the human beings that we are, really matter to others.

Granted, I am a VERY opinionated and political person. I have my views, particularly when it comes to gay rights, that I'm passionate about and will fight over - verbally or otherwise. Some things are just worth fighting for and my right to be an equal in this world with others is one of those things.

So, when I spend a decent amount of time sharing information that matters to me, that affects MY LIFE and MY FAMILY, and it is essentially ignored by people I thought had a little more humanity and depth of character, it's frustrating and hurtful. The hurt doesn't last long because then I just get pissed off and type up a blog like this. For the last couple of weeks, since the events in Egypt unfolded, I calmed down my Facebook presence and tried to be more lighthearted. Then the events in WI and the Republican attacks on our freedoms kicked up this week, and I went on a tirade yesterday. Education is one of my soapbox areas. You want to get me going debate with me on education. I was a teacher, and now I work in higher education and trying to complete a doctorate in education. My wife is a college professor and working on her dissertation. Most people I know are in education in some way, and now I'm co-chair of the first GLSEN chapter in TN, so yeah, I get fired up when the topic turns to education.

With everything going on in the world and with all of the news I share, what do I see on my friend's status updates on Facebook? Some freakin' trees on Auburn University's campus have been poisoned and will likely die. OH! You would have thought someone had kicked their dog! Oh, the outrage. And someone on one of the friend's lists responded about having twisted priorities to do something like that. WTF?! Are you serious? They're pointing fingers about "twisted priorities" when a revolution took place to unseat a dictator and install democracy (btw, not a damn one of my conservative friends on FB even mentioned it!) and the Republican party (which these same friends voted into office...thank you, oh so fucking much!) is systematically tearing down unions, women's rights, child labor laws, and not to mention going after, you guessed it...the queers. Yet, a FUCKING TREE gets their attention.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK!?

Oh, and to top it all off, an old high school friend, after being an FB friend for probably over a year now and hearing me go on about equality rights for me and my family, decided yesterday to "like" an anti-gay marriage page on FB. Nice! She survived the last round of me deleting people off my friend's list because she hadn't directly been disrespectful before, but I don't think she'll fare too well this time.

See, that's the good thing about social networks. While sometimes it stings a little to know that people you thought were once decent people think you're a worthless piece of shit, at least their actions prove to you that they're not worth knowing. I know some people would say, "Yes, but shouldn't you keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? At least you'll know what they're planning and how to counter." Honestly, there's no countering that. There's no countering hatred or fixing stupid. They're stuck on stupid and like being there. One day, the way this country is going, I'll probably see these people across a battle line before I could ever hope to reach their hearts. Some people aren't worth trying to save or teach or talk to. They've deemed I'm not worth listening to. Why should I give them the respect they can't extend me?

The New World Order...Republican-Style

2011-02-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the election of a new Republican majority, we have a new world order taking place. I just want to say "thank you" to the people (friends and family) who refused to listen, who bought into the fear and bigotry, and who selfishly thought of only themselves this last election. Are you happy now? Is this REALLY what you wanted? For all of them, when it comes home to bite YOU in the ass, just remember: WE TOLD YOU SO!!!

For those who watch something other than Fox News and reality shows or read something beyond Sunday morning cartoons, it's no surprise to see that about a dozen states are being calculatingly attacked by their new Republican governors and legislators. Everything from labor unions, including eliminating child labor laws, to health care to mental health services and school safety has been attacked since they took office. The focus isn't on jobs unless it is to force people to hold as many as possible just to pay their bills.

The biggest story is coming out of Wisconsin. The Republican governor there is going after the teacher's labor union in an attempt to dismantle it all together. The employees, God bless them, aren't taking it. They have been demonstrating for the last few days and the numbers are growing every day. It's what one person has termed "going Egypt" on them.

The same thing is happening here in Tennessee and reports have also been told about it going on in other states. This is part of the process of building the New "Republican" World Order. This IS 1984 in action. Make people so poor and disenfranchised that they can't do anything but work to keep their heads above water. They have no time nor money for getting further training or education. They can't pay for their kids college so their kids are destined to lives of minimum wage (if that!), long hours, and poor conditions. It's the method of keeping the masses under their thumb and controlled. An uneducated population is a controllable population.

A poster on Facebook said it far better than I could. Below is what she said:

The attack on public sector employees is the first stage in a larger agenda to transform all states, not just WI, into 'right-to-work' states. Private sector unions will be next, - they will be broken up, busted, and outlawed. The demonizin...g of public employees and those who protect them, is part of a larger attack on every working person in this state, and soon enough, this nation.

This is part of a larger far-right strategy to turn every state into a 'right-to-work' - NO UNIONS/UNIONS ARE ILLEGAL - state. Right-to-Work means right to be fired on a whim (for being too tall, too short, too black, too female, too fat, too liberal, too ugly, - whatever the employer disagrees with or doesn't like), - it also means right to work for less - no say in wages, no input on benefits, - just whatever the boss wants to pay, and it will be a race to the bottom as states and businesses compete to get the lowest prices to the consumer etc. while shortchanging employees, - right to work also means right to work in unsafe, unsanitary, dangerous, and in all other ways bad working conditions, - no union, no voice, - no say about public or worker safety, no input into the workplace environment, no recourse for things like discrimination based on sex or race or age, - it's open season on every working person, - all in the name of making 'a better business climate' - in essence, every job will be a worse than Wal-Mart job, - no benefits, no living wages, temp or part time would be the norm, erratic hours, no stability, and no say in how things get done or how you are treated as a human being who also happens to be a worker.

This is the vision of Walker and the GOP. State and NATIONAL.

If we can take Walker down on this issue, we might be able to prevent it from taking off nationally, - it is not just about demonizing the public workers, - though this is also part of a larger strategy to demonize and destroy the public sphere so that it becomes inefficient and cannot function - and what can function with limited funding and with such poor treatment of workers, etc. - so, once they demonize the public sphere, they will set out to sell it off, piece by piece, and privatize it. Once something is privatized there goes the voice of the democratic people - there goes the input of the public, there goes the fact that public spaces, places, and things have to be open for everyone, have to be accessible to all, have to serve the people, and have to be free from things like censorship (libraries, for example) and subjected to certain standards and etc (schools), - once something is privatized it is no longer democratic, it is no longer ours, - it is a source of profit for one or a few people, and it is up to them what gets done, what gets taught, what is available, who gets in, how things get done, and etc. And the bottom line is no longer the public good or the public need, but profit, and profit only.

This is the picture being painted and the agenda being pushed by Walker and the WI, and National GOP.

This is what we are up against.

Additionally, Walker's attack on Unions is important because Unions back Democratic candidates more often. The recent ruling by the Supreme Court gave corporations and Unions the right to contribute to campaigns. Since most corporations back the GOP, it was easy to see the impact of this decision, - the GOP had big wins and big money in the midterm - big money was spent by outside sources, - and the Unions spent some on the Dems, but since Unions don't have as much, well, -anyway. The key here is that if you break the Unions, - make them illegal, cut them off from their people, break the solidarity, take away the funding, take away the networks, you also take a way the support for Dems in 2012, - this is what the GOP is after. Walker is going to come after the emails of public employees soon, - to ensure that the Union can no longer contact those who used to be union members, to further break up contact and solidarity and destroy networks and communities.

Add to this the attack on voters rights, - VOTER ID, - this will disenfranchise - this is it's only purpose. Voter fraud is false, - and not a threat, - 14 cases in two years, in WI, is hardly something to crack down on, and all were caught, and the system works, - but VOTER ID is aimed at making it harder for some people to vote, - you have to pay for another state ID, - you have to have money and a DL to get this ID, then you have to have this ID with you when you vote, - to get this ID you have to have money, a DL, and time to go to the DMV, you also have to be very well informed on what is happening in order to know that you can no longer vote without this ID, - this bill puts up unnecessary barriers to voting, - primarily for poor people, - and also for the elderly and college kids, - they also want to do away with same day registration and make it harder to register to vote. SO add this to it, - and this is 2012, - they want to make sure less people vote, and these people they are targeting tend to be the people who would vote for Democrats, in many cases - they are also framing the need for VOTER ID as protection against 'illegal immigrants' voting, - which has never ever been a real thing or a problem. Thus, they are hoping to intimidate Latino voters, - add to this they are going to try to attempt to pass Arizona style racial profiling laws that would further create fear and intimidation in communities of color in WI.

And then, finally, with eyes on 2012, add to this the census data, the redistricting, and the fact that rather than actually rely on facts, the GOP will break up districts in ways that give them more districts, more power, and more control, - it does not matter where people are, where population grew or declined ,what matters is how to squeeze out and shrink Democratic districts, transform independent districts into GOP ones, and increase the number of GOP leaning districts, - thus, more power for the GOP in the state and more power for the GOP nationally.

I am sure there's more to add. I just know it. Add to this Walker's attack on pregnant women and children and the poor and the ill, - taking away Badgercare, - and add to this his stance against the health care reform bill, - taking away other access to health care, - the move is to make people desperate, - to make the poor even poorer, to make the middle class into the new working poor, and to make it so that people will end up wanting to do anything for any wage just to stay afloat, to break solidarity, networks, connections and to turn WI into a third world country, complete with third world environmental and labor laws - namely NO environmental protections, no labor laws, and no public safety laws, - this is what Open For Business means, - businesses get the power and the voice, they get what they want, and those of us who work, - and consume, - well, we are supposed to smile and say thank you, because if we get too rowdy, well, the national guard is here to take care of us.

And to top all of this off, all of these things even when taken together do not decrease the debt, and surprise, do not limit government. This is BIG GOVERNMENT at its worst and most oppressive, and this is no way to bring jobs jobs jobs, or balance a budget

I think we could take some lessons from Egypt.

Why I Haven't Commented on Egypt

2011-01-31T19:24:00.000-08:00

The news out of Egypt just keeps coming. There's so much going on that I can't even manage to link all of it here. Admittedly, I've never been much of a follower of the Middle East news happenings. It's just all so complicated and difficult to figure out.

What I do know is that the citizens of Egypt want Mubarak out, and they want a change in their government.

Our nation was founded on this very premise. We wanted freedom from England, and instead of fighting on our own shores to overthrow the powers that be, we left to make our own way. Ultimately, we couldn't run from the confrontation. The war came to us, and we fought to stay free.

Everyone simply wants to live free. This is human nature. We don't want to be ruled and overpowered or disenfranchised from our society - to have our control taken from us.

Freedom, though, is subjective. Tyranny, likewise, is in the eye of the beholder.

The Egyptians want to be free and to overthrow a government they see as tyrannical. The American in me, that lives at the core of me, sympathizes with this desire. What I see though as an affront to my freedom may be very different from someone else's. The Obama administration isn't tyrannical. Under Obama, I have seen freedoms obtained that wouldn't have happened under a Republican political leader (DADT repeal, health care reform, etc.). It's my view and personal opinion that Democrats give and expand rights for all, while Republicans take them away. Earlier today, in fact, I saw a news story about Republicans, instead of working on creating more jobs if they got the majority in Congress, are filing bills to redefine rape in order to limit access to abortions. Yes, because apparently controlling my body and what I do with it is freedom in their book.

Strangely enough, I have hidden a few friends on Facebook because they are annoyingly conservative, but I still check out their profiles sometimes out of curiosity. Just today I saw one commenting on Egypt and a friend of theirs pondered how things would go down if the same thing took place here against the current administration. Another commenter lumped "liberals" with Islamists (i.e. you know, terrorists) and communists.

See, the reason I haven't commented on Egypt isn't because I don't feel strongly about the situation or that I don't empathize with the human desire to be free. It's because what we view as freedom and tyranny and a worthy justification for revolution is all subjective. Conservatives, Tea Partiers, and Republicans tend to see themselves as being under tyrannical rule by Obama, liberals, and Democrats. If there was a chance to do as the Egyptians have done, they'd gladly take it and feel justified. A few years back, I wouldn't have had a problem with protesting in the street to get rid of Bush. I used my fair share of phrases that called Bush and Company tyrants and fascists.

I haven't commented because I don't want to be misinterpreted by the conservatives I know. They are identifying with the Egyptians right now, seeing God at work in their dreams of democracy as they define it. That is, a democracy that only allows their beliefs to exist. And I don't want them to think that I believe as they do. I don't see Egypt as the next great opportunity for conversion to a Christo-fascist state like Iraq or Afganistan, or that America must do its Godly duty and overthrow the godless tyrants of the world so we can fulfill His plan.

No, the tyrant is already there. A tyrant who is far more like the Republicans of our country than the Democrats, and the people are fighting a government that I fear we'll have if Republicans gain the presidency again. But see, that's just my view...my belief. And it's as right and as real as those held by my conservative friends.

So, I don't comment because there's no way to win this. There is no right or wrong because each of us believe we are right and everyone else is wrong.

Religion and the Right to Hate Gays

2011-01-27T09:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, an announcement came from Belmont University, a college began and funded by the Southern Baptist Convention, that the school has decided to add sexual orientation to their non-discrimination policy.

Belmont Adds Sexual Orientation to Policy

This comes after a month of deliberation and a variety of focus groups asking questions about making the addition, and even longer since Belmont's women's soccer coach, Lisa Howe, mysteriously left the university after telling her athletes that she and her partner were having a child together.

Neither side will confirm or admit that the new policy has anything to do with Howe's supposed dismissal over her sexual orientation. Belmont's president Bob Fisher only said the policy came about as a way to put a "longstanding policy" in writing.

Now, anyone who knows anything about Belmont knows that the campus has a significant LGBTQ population of both students and faculty. I found it quite interesting that within a couple of weeks of the situation with Howe that it seemed like the entire music department at Belmont left. Job postings at Belmont were very numerous and most stemmed from that department. A few were from the athletic department too. The article above even mentions that some stated feeling "welcome" until the incident with Howe. Are they leaving over policy? We may never know but from an employer perspective having a mass exodus of employees is a very bad sign. It sends up red flags to other potential candidates and could make recruitment of both faculty and students extremely difficult. Most people don't want to work for someone that discriminates because one day the chopping block could come down on them. Then there's that whole "guilt by association" thing.

Most employees and students at Belmont have no issue with gay people on campus. Those that I have known that work or worked at Belmont or went to school there were very open-minded. Not all Christians, just like all gay people, are cut from the same cloth. Unlike what the press would have us believe, not all Christians hate gay people. The ones that do just happen to be the loudest and most aggressive in politics and policy. Unfortunately, Christians who aren't haters don't speak out, and too many (including gay people themselves) are willing to give religious people a pass when it comes to being hateful of anyone, but especially of LGBTQ people. We say that churches, Christian-run companies, and religious colleges/schools have a right to think this way. As if hate is a civil right.

Is it? Is hate a right but love isn't?

Interesting when you look at it from that perspective.

Another little related news piece came out about Chick-fil-A, the fast food restaurant that is well-known as Christian-owned, going so far as to close on Sundays on religious principles. The news piece isn't really news for some people. It clarified that CFA has stated they do not like same-sex couples.

While this isn't really news and many people shrug at it as if to say "that's their right," my problem with this isn't necessarily a person, company, or organization's right to not like or accept gay people. The problem is not being CLEAR about it.

In the debacle with Belmont, my comment in many cases was, if you don't want gay people on your staff or in your student body, then say so. Write a policy that says "queers need not apply."

How hard is that?!

The thing is they want it both ways. Belmont wants our intelligence and our talent. CFA wants our money. But they don't really want to know we exist and they definitely don't want us to be open about it.

I really don't care what anyone or any institution thinks, but I do expect openness and clarity about their positions. That way, I know if I want to associate with that person or organization or not, and I know if I should bother apply for a job there or not.

Another situation that arose out the Belmont/Howe issue is Metro Nashville debating whether to extend their non-discrimination policy about sexual orientation to their private contractors. Again, some say that private contractors have a right to hate if they want because they're private. If they're private and they have those beliefs, then they should conduct business with other like-minded businesses. What the Metro Council and Mayor Dean know and understand is that Belmont put a black-eye on Nashville with their actions over Howe, and the city got busy with damage control. They are making a clear statement that the City of Nashville is not a place where discrimination against gay people is acceptable. It's smart business. In a time when industry is leaving our cities and towns and businesses are folding, Nashville is stepping up to clarify their stance in order to retain diversity-minded businesses that will attract the best and brightest from around the world. They're not stupid. You can't be competitive and close-minded at the same time.

There also needs to be an understanding that just like not all Christians are gay-haters, not all gay-people are godless, Satan-worshippers. Some of us may actually want to be associated with other Christians and work in a faith-centered environment or give our hard-earned money to Christian-owned companies.

Simply put, we need to know...what KIND of Christian are you?

Are you the gay-hating kind or the Jesus-ate-with-sinners type?

Now, on a separate but similar note, I just saw an article about Michigan extending benefits to same-sex partners.

My question is, when will Tennessee, as a state, step up and do the same thing? It's kind of pathetic when a Christian-run college adds sexual orientation to their non-discrimination policy before an entire state does. Of course, with a Republican governor in place now, we will be fortunate if that happens. We couldn't even get it with a Democratic governor! But the question remains...what kind _____ (fill-in-the-blank religion, political party, etc) are you?

An Addendum to Yesterday's Post

2011-01-25T14:05:00.000-08:00

I have shamelessly stolen this from a Facebook friend (Jen, thank you!) who apparently got it from Bill Maher.

It ties in so perfectly with the post I made yesterday and so much of what I've seen lately from the "progressive" side of politics.

Bill Maher's New Rule: The problem isn’t that there’s too little civility in government, it’s that there’s too much.

President Obama’s state of the union speech is next week, and as you’ve probably heard, members of congress have agreed, in response to the tragedy in Arizona, to break with the tradition of Republicans on one side of the room and Democrats... on the other. Instead, they’re all going to sit together, conservative next to liberal, gay next to straight, nerd next to jock.
Oh wait, that was an episode of “Glee”.

In any event, the two parties are coming together, and they’ve agreed Joe Lieberman has to sit by himself. Now I must say America is such a mystery to me. A lunatic used a Glock to shoot 19 people, and our answer is “Don’t try to control guns or nuts, just be more polite.” Now, I’m just a hockey mom, but… it seems to me when a madman kills people, the problem isn’t the first amendment, it’s the second.

In his big speech, president Obama said we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children’s expectations. The first of which, I’m guessing, would be to live in a country were children don’t get shot when they leave the house. That’s what’s important. Who gives a damn if politicians mask their disdain for each other with forced niceties? They do it already. “My good friend from the great state of Alabama.” As if they’re really good friends,or anyone outside Alabama thinks it’s a great state.

Oh it’s a love-fest these days. Conservatives couldn’t stop praising Obama’s speech. Of course, because it let them off the hook. The party of assault weapons didn’t get blamed for the assault. Just like the party of oil didn’t get blamed for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Like the party of deregulation skated on tanking the economy.

Again and again, Obama is given the opportunity to lay some richly-deserved blame at the feet of the Republicans, and again and again, he just can’t do it. Because he wants them to like him so badly. Conservatives, stop worrying. He can’t be a Kenyan; he’s a “golden retriever”. He’s done everything he possibly could to appease you short of using bleach.

And when Obama says, “Find a common ground,” oh here comes the bullshit now. Because whenever a Democrat seeks common ground, he always seems to find it right where the Republican was already standing. Ten years ago, we had a ban on extended-ammo clips, so that people like this walking Thorazine ad couldn’t kill supermarket crowds hassle-free. The Republicans killed that ban. And now the compromise is we can never get it back.

I think the old word for that was “surrender”.

Republicans, please note, are not taken in by the myth of common ground. They never move an inch on anything. Gun restrictions are always bad, taxes are always too high, and there’s nothing on earth that can’t be improved by adding either Jesus or bacon.

Sarah Palin knows fewer words than Koko the gorilla. But, it’s not a coincidence that two of them are “Don’t retreat” and the other is “reload”.

The Celebration of Stupid...and Crazy

2011-01-24T23:08:00.000-08:00

I got some flack a few days back about calling people "stupid" that don't agree with me politically. You'd think the comment came from a conservative-leaning friend who was trying to get me to see the error of my attitude and that such harsh language would only push people away and never get them to listen, wouldn't you? But no, this came from a self-proclaimed liberal who is quite intellectual and far from stupid.

To me, it's fascinating how the more sophomorish and resistant the GOP and Teabaggers get, the more accommodating and tolerant the so-called liberals get towards them. I've been hearing on blogs and so forth everything from "name-calling makes us no better than them...we should rise above!" to "just ignore them and they'll go away".

REPUBLICANS AND THEIR TEABAGGER INBRED COUSINS ARE BULLIES!!!! Nothing but low-class playground bullies!

They will not go away and they will not stop.

How many years and how many times do we have to "reach across the aisle" only to get bitchslapped before we realize that nothing will change until we fight back?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying fight violence and hatred with more violence and hatred. But I am saying, call a fucking spade a spade. Quit being such fucking pussies!

Liberals, progressives, Democrats, whatever label we feel comfortable with today...we may be smart enough to see these nutcases for what they are and we...in our infinite wisdom and higher order thinking...roll our eyes in amusement and think "let 'em talk, they're digging their own grave and handing us political fodder for the next election." Yet, what we forget is that most people aren't like us. The highlight of their days are watching "American Idol", Alabama football, and WWE wrestling. For a little edumacation (yes, I misspelled that deliberately), they'll tune into Glenn Beck rant about shooting liberals in the head, call it entertainment and a joke, then ignore a Democrat Congresswoman get shot in the head. Oh, but Alabama won their goddamn football game!!! Yeehaw!!!

We're a reality show nation raised on fast food, violent video games, and Jerry Springer. Our children can't write a sentence when they graduate high school, but by God, they can shoot a fucking gun, fart the Pledge of Allegiance, and organize a prayer chain for little Bobby Jo Muffintop who has brain cancer from too much meth and smacks in the head from her baby daddy.

We may roll our eyes and think that surely nothing bad can ever happen to our nation, that the horrors of history (the bigotry, violence, and genocide) could never touch our precious "land of the free" soil. But, we're not the ones running the show. The patients are loose in the asylum and it's all just so damn funny to everyone...but us.

See for yourself:
The Palin Problem

Who Really Controls America?

GOP's War on the Sick

CA Governor Receives Death Threats

Progressive Professor Receives Death Threats After Glenn Beck Targets Her

The MLK Day Parade Bomb

"Mass Bloodshed" May be Necessary if Roe Not Overturned

And of course, when we talk about stupid and crazy, this woman's picture is next to it in the dictionary:

Palin Says She "Won't Shut Up"

I would say that someone needs to stick a penis in her mouth and shut her up, but even her cheating husband doesn't want THAT job!!!

Episcopal Church No Longer Christian Because It Supports Gay Rights

AL Governor: Only Christians are My Brothers and Sisters

And FINALLY...the interactive map of recent domestic terrorist attacks against liberals and government.

I stand by my comments that people ARE stupid and we as a society celebrate that stupidity. We encourage it. Even intelligent, normally liberal and open-minded people I know have fallen for the lies from Fox News, Beck, Palin, et al. If those kind of people are stupid enough to fall for it, how can we expect that meth head getting knocked around by her boyfriend to know any different?

Will They Really Do It?

2011-01-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

Dems Growing Convinced that GOP Will Shutdown Government Over Healthcare Reform

Would Republicans and their Tea Party cousins dare to bring government to a halt just to reach their own agenda?

Of course they would, and that's what Democrats and well-informed people fear.

"They are potentially setting up a situation where they will bring government, all of government, to a screeching halt," Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) said Wednesday. "Not because of the debt ceiling. This is beyond the debt ceiling ... If they think they are going to have the end game of their appropriations bills be that they drive health care reform into an early grave ... they are literally setting up a full stop for almost everything we will possibly do this year."

Unlike Democrats who have sought bipartisianship in passing bills, the ReTeas have no qualms about refusing cooperation with Democrats when it comes to getting what they want. They're like the pouting playground bully that threatens to take the kickball home with him unless everyone plays by his rules. No amount of collaboration, cooperation, or "reaching across the aisle" will satisfy these bullies. At the end of the day, that's all they are, and sometimes the only way to get a bully to lay off is to dish out a little whoop ass of your own.

I'm not sure if the Democrats are up to that, but someone will need to be. At this rate, with the fast track the ReTeas have us on to destroying every gain made for humanity, that'll be the poor disenfranchised minorities who are taking the brunt of the ReTeas attacks. Nothing creates motivation to fight back like homelessness and starvation, especially when you're trying to provide for your family. It's not the power from the top or even an external power from overseas that the ReTeas will have to worry about. They're making enemies of their neighbors and that's never a good idea. Even dogs know better than to shit where they sleep.

A Prayer Answered

2010-04-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of co-workers that I've been eating lunch with almost everyday for the last few months. We've gotten to know each other pretty well, and we definitely pick on each other and joke around a lot.

We're actually a motley lot. It's me, the white lesbian, and two black women, one older and the other just a tad older than me. The older woman is strongly religious and has no problem saying so. In fact, she's seeking ordination in her church as a preacher. She's been denied ordination before because she speaks what comes from her spirit not from doctrine.

The two of us obviously have our disagreements on many matters, yet I also think we're oddly respectful and appreciative of the differing views. I'm not sure exactly how she views me as a lesbian, and I'm not sure I want to know. Sometimes when you like a person, it's better not to know some things, especially if it can hurt your feelings.

Anyway, this woman and I have some spirited discussions on religion. One day I was particularly disgruntled with the human race and feeling awfully pessimistic. For a while, I was debating de-friending probably 75% of the people I knew on Facebook just because I was tired of the falseness and insensitivity of others. There was a point where I used to tell myself that everyone was in my life for a reason. I felt I was born into a highly conservative Southern Baptist family for a reason. Part of me thought that certainly it had to be to open people's eyes and hearts to difference and hopefullly help them grow to be more tolerant and accepting. That was on a good day. But the day I was talking to this co-worker, it was a bad day. I said, "What's the point?"

This woman does a lot of work with convicted felons, and she told me how she went through a period of time similar and she asked God to take a certain group of people she was working with out of her life (if I recall correctly, it was rapists). She wasn't careful in what she asked. God did take them from her life and in place of them, she now works with pedophiles. Yeah...exactly! From the frying pan into the fire. But she's working with a group she never would have willingly worked with before and the ones that most people can't stand to be around. She feels God did it for a reason but also to teach her to be careful what she asks for.

We laughed about this, and I thought about it for a long moment. I finally looked at her and said, "This is what I'll pray for then. I won't remove anyone from my Facebook page. I'll simply say to God 'Whoever is meant to stay in my life should stay. If I'm meant to know them and they know me, they'll remain. If not, if they or I serve no purpose in each other's lives, then they'll leave of their own accord.'"

The other co-worker (the one who is only a little older than me) was having lunch with me today. It was just the two of us. She confided in me, though I had my suspicions, about her son probably being gay. She admitted that she wasn't handling it well. She loves him, but can't let herself think about it too much. We talked for a while, and she felt like she was doing everything wrong. She worried because he won't talk to her about it (I didn't point out though why would he if she can't deal with it). I finally looked at her, as I remembered my own experiences when I came out, and told her, "He won't because he doesn't want to hurt you or disappoint you. I know I dashed my mother's dreams of what she thought my life would be like, which was to be a replica of her, and I knew nothing I EVER did would fix that. I could be rich, smart, beautiful, successful, and have the most amazing partner and kids, but I'd still never be good enough. He knows he's destroying your dreams, and it's killing him."

I got choked up and almost started to cry. I think it got to her too because she paused and looked down, nodding her head in understanding. She just looked at me and said, "That makes sense." I don't know if anything I said will help her in relating to her son, but I was ecstatic that she felt like she could talk to me and maybe get a different perspective on it.

So, I guess I got evidence that my prayer was answered. There are people in my life that need to be there, and there is a purpose for it. I have to have faith that there are others in my life that are there for a reason. All I can do is continue on, speak my mind, share my life, and hope something, somewhere gets through to someone. If it's not meant to, then that's okay too.

Question of the Day...

2010-04-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, a thought occurred to me and I asked a question on my Facebook page:

Why is it that some people think it's sad that other people come to important self-realizations (for instance, coming out), yet those of us who have achieved our own self-realizations are happy for those who have?

A few weeks back, Ricky Martin came out as gay, and there were some "Well, good for him!" comments and some "DUH!" comments too. LOL! Others were like "Too bad, he was cute" or "He's too sexy to be gay."

The other day, one of my favorite actresses Crystal Chappell more or less came out as bisexual. In an interview, when asked about two recent roles as lesbians and if it was hard for her, she said, "I did not have to do much to prepare. I am equally attracted to men and women and I like both genders, so it is not an issue for me. You are attracted to who you are attracted to and fall in love with who you fall in love with. This is who my character is - a gay woman. It wasn't difficult to understand or portray her."

I did my own personal, inner happy dance for Crystal. And if I'm honest, I did one for Ricky too. When someone, especially someone who is gay, bi, or trans, comes to this self-realization, I'm happy for them.

I find it interesting though that our heterosexual counterparts don't share and/or appreciate the importance of our self-realizations. In fact, some are downright saddened by them. I wondered why and it hit me (I guess you could call it a "realization"): as members of the gay community, we don't have the assumption that 90% of the world around us is like us. Heterosexuals have the odds on their side to assume and presume heterosexuality in those they admire and even find attractive. A straight woman goes to the movies and sees a good-looking actor on the screen, and she can lose herself in the fantasy that she's the object of his desire (or at least that she'd simply have the right body parts for such desire from him). Nine out of ten times she can be guaranteed that she's right.

However, when that one time in ten comes to pass and the fantasy is destroyed, it's saddening for the heterosexual. It's considered a loss.

Now, in the gay world, it's an obvious gain for the same reasons. The fantasy that had long been denied and impossible is made possible (at least in our minds!). Having a lifetime of denying the possibility, of sitting in darkened theatres thinking "there's no way this person, this actor, I admire could EVER be gay," places upon the gay person a sadness in assumed heterosexuality of our heroes. Rarely do we get to bask in the knowledge and awareness that this beautiful, popular, powerful person is "one of us."

Until they come out, that is.

When they do, we're excited and happy for them. We rave about their courage and pride.

We also know how vitally important self-realization is to the human psyche. I'm not convinced that heterosexuals get that (okay, some of them!). Knowing ourselves is the focal point of happiness. To find our place in this world is crucial to us. It's hard for heterosexuals to understand what it means to not have a place. They can't fathom it because they can go anywhere and be known and accepted. They get to bask in the assumption, along with 90% of the rest of the population, that those around them are EXACTLY like them.

So why is it that some heterosexuals see a person's self-realization as being gay as a sad event while we, the gay community, cheer it?

Because they lose something they thought they'd always have. And what is that "something" you might ask?

The safety and security of presumption, of course.

Food for Thought

2010-04-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

For the last few days on Facebook, there's been a group that I've seen many, many people I know join. This is what it says:

"DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN."

As a columnist for the Huffington Post said, "Amen? Really?"

Most of the people that have been joining, granted, are the ignorant, backwater people I grew up with back in (I refuse to say, "back home"...it's NOT home!) in Alabama. This isn't what bothers me so much. I know they're backwater and ignorant, so their views don't surprise me too much. I admit though, a couple did surprise me. It has shocked me even more to see it coming from gay people and black people who really should know better than to propagate hatemongering.

The part about this that gets to me is the obliviousness and obtuseness of it all. The cold-hearted "so fucking what?" mentality. It doesn't matter to these people that it incites hate. If Obama was actually killed, they'd rejoice. This is Christian? Really?

Then last night, I had a bit of an epiphany. I was thinking about this issue and I saw the connection for these right-wing ideologues between "so fucking what if my hate of Obama encourages someone to assassinate him?" and their so-called Christian beliefs.

They really and truly believe that Obama is the Antichrist. Now, I don't think most have thought enough about it to put two and two together in such a logical fashion because that would require logic, and I honestly don't think most have the capability. If there was an ounce of logic, they would buy the bullshit Fox News feeds them in the first place. These people are the slaves of ideology. They are the wet-dreams of evil-minded idealogues because they mindlessly follow wherever the blame winds blow. Someone has to be to blame for the ills in their life. Someone has to take the fall. All the business and industry is leaving your poor, backwater county??? Blame the fags and blacks and all tree-huggin', God-hating liberals. But never, ever consider the fact that for DECADES you've refused to increase taxes to improve your schools or hell, even educate YOURSELF. Why would progressive, forward-thinking employers who are fighting to survive a tough economic climate want to hire YOUR ignorant ass that refuses to change? They're trying to get OUT of the fucking box not relish in staying in it surrounded by those who are like-minded.

So, back to the whole Antichrist thing...such a mentality is a freakin' breeding ground for stupid, mindless followers.

In spite of the language you see me use here, I was raised a Christian (and yes, still consider myself one...now I just speak it the way it is), and I spent quite a bit of time before coming out in studying Revelations and being into the whole prophecy and Antichrist thing. The Church has easily succumbed to the belief that the Antichrist will be a single man who is charismatic and handsome and who gains almost a cult-like following.

Have we ever considered that the Antichrist isn't really a person, but a belief system...an ideology, that gains a frightening, cult-like following? Something where brother turns on brother and neighbor on neighbor. Brother here is not a familial relation but could be ANYONE that is "one of us." So, gay people and black people turn against their own. Makes sense, right?

This ideology, like Satan himself, devours all in its path and festers on the darkest parts of the human soul. Humans relishing in the hurt, pain, and loss of other humans. Humans insensitive to the suffering of others. Humans more interested in American Idol results than that injustice is being dished out on fellow humans. We're indifferent and callous. Then we turn around and say, "Amen."

The wolf in sheep's clothing.

The evil we do not see coming because it's already here.

It has existed among us, as the Antichrist has existed among us, since the beginning of time because IT IS US!!!

Getting It Out

2010-04-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

This has been sitting with me for easily over a week. There have been so many other matters on my plate that I haven’t had time to really deal with it or address how it was making me feel. However, I can’t seem to shake the heavy feeling on my heart, and I feel like if I don’t say some of these things, they’ll continue to weigh me down. I haven’t blogged or wrote from the heart in a while. I haven’t put my feelings to paper, or computer screen as the case may be, in so long it feels strange to lay it out in the open. I blogged quite regularly several years ago and became pretty proficient on political/gay issues, but when Tennessee passed the anti-gay marriage amendment in 2007, I pretty much shifted gears and gave up.

However, when the news story from several weeks ago popped up about a young woman in Fulton, MS named Constance McMillen, a lot of old feelings and latent frustrations got stirred up. See, Constance made the news and all the rounds on Facebook and Twitter when the world found out that she wanted to go to the prom with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo to boot. You would have thought the world was going to crash down! The school refused to let her go to the prom with the person she actually liked and dress in a way she felt comfortable. They even went so far as to cancel the prom all together and essentially turned the student body on this young woman. Such actions by the school went directly against her constitutional right to associate freely and express herself as she deemed fit. Last time I checked, the freedom of association and expression are still constitutional rights. Not only that, but the school was grossly negligent in protecting Constance. They put her safety at risk because they were uncomfortable with having a gay student openly attending prom with her same-sex date, and God forbid, dressing like a boy in the process! As a former teacher, I find such behavior by school teachers and administrators despicable! Well, the courts agreed saying that her constitutional rights were violated, but they still didn’t insist the school have the prom. There’s that pesky freedom of association thing again! True, the community of Fulton and the students of her school have a right to not associate with her, but seriously, whatever happened to the good ol’ days where kids just picked on and isolated the strange kid in school. *rolls eyes* The Fulton community though took it further than that. Prom did happen, though it was a private affair. Constance and a handful of other students, including the learning disabled students, were sent to their own prom while all the “normal” kids went to another prom across town. Of course, Constance didn’t know this. My problem with this whole situation was the utter disregard the school, parents, and community showed for one of their own. And, yes, Constance IS one of their own, whether they want her to be or not. For all their talk about being God-fearing Christians, they happily and dutifully sacrificed one of God’s own children on the altar of their bigotry and fear.

Christians are quick to say “oh, we’re not all bad” or “don’t lump me in with them” to avoid being labeled as a bigot. While I know not all Christians are bad or hateful towards those different (some actually embody Christ-like attitudes), and I do want to be clear that I know some good Christian people, I call it as I see it though. The Church is only as good as the people who represent it. If the Church wants to be known as haters, then accept the mantle of the title. If not, then do something about it. Being a Christian doesn’t mean coddling and awarding the wayward, but calling them to task. Of course, the flip side is that some good Christian will likely tell me that’s what they’re doing to Constance or to me or to any other gay person in their midst. They’re giving the “tough love” of Christ by judging us with love, not hate. This is at least the story I got from my mother. She told me when I came out that she worried about how the world would treat me for being gay then treated me as exactly how the world would treat me. See, it wasn’t her doing this to me or even the world or the evil that resides in her heart, but it was me. It was all my fault. All the pain, suffering, heartache, fear, loss I’d ever experience from this moment on (i.e. from the moment I came out) wasn’t from any wrongdoing of others but from my choice to live outside of God’s laws. So, really, I’m just getting what I deserve.

It is at this point in my thinking where I start to feel sick to my stomach and can’t seem to get past the deep-seeded anger and frustration I have toward the Church and toward those “good” Christians out there. Many of these good people have been friends of mine since I was a kid. These are people I went to school with, went to Sunday School with, went on dates with, and yes, even attended prom with. I find out all these years later that my being gay was no real surprise for my classmates and that they knew but didn’t care. At first, I thought “Oh, that’s nice that they didn’t care” but then it hit me…why the hell not? Why didn’t they care? They SHOULD have cared! This part of myself that I hid out of fear of what others would think was obviously a very big part of me, yet they didn’t care to acknowledge or know me. Not the real me. Am I really surprised now that these same people don’t want to know me? They didn’t want to know me then and were content to ignore a facet of my personality that was so vital that I felt the need to hide it. Just like the kids in Constance’s school, the parents in the community, the teachers of the school, and the members of the school board were content to ask Constance to put aside her own dreams of her high school prom so that others might have their dreams met, I was ignored so that others could be comfortable. This is still asked of me, even today.

There’s no telling how many friends I’ve lost over the years because I’m gay, or people I didn’t get to know – and they didn’t get to know me either – because I’m gay. I know of several who have defriended me on Facebook and some who will never friend me because of it. As I said, everyone has a right to associate with whom they want. However, be honest about it. One person did defriend me specifically because I’m gay and because I’m not one of those “good” gays who sit down and shut up. I speak my mind and my words aren’t always pleasant or politically correct. However, I find it amusing that these same people have no problem with the numerous posts about getting laid (or wishing to), getting drunk, partying all night, etc. Yet, me simply putting the word “gay” in my post is enough to send them over the cliff of acceptability.

I’ve been accused of being angry, and I agree that I am. I’m angry at the denial of personal fault on the part of friends, family, and others in the institutionalized oppression and repression of the gay community, and of me specifically. I’m not some abstract representation of a group that is somehow so unfathomly strange to the average person that we’re stereotyped and caricatured, but I’m a real human being that laughed at your stupid jokes in school, listened to you cry your eyes out when some guy broke your heart, and stood by you when others put you down for the way you dressed or the car you drove. What didn’t change in the 10, 15, 20, 25 years that I’ve known some people is that I continued to believe that if I stood up for you, that one day you’d stand up for me. If a person isn’t actively making an effort to stop the oppression, then you’re a part of the problem. If you read this and get defensive and think “how dare she!”, then perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror at your own role in tolerating hatred and bigotry. You don’t have to call me a dyke or attack me directly to be a part of the problem. The old saying of “silence equals death” is true. Doing nothing is an act of acceptance.

After the “fake” prom happened for Constance, there was a question posed over at Pam’s House Blend as to whether Constance should get the hell out of Fulton, MS or stay to fight for change. Thinking about this question and reading about what happened to Constance rehashed some old feelings for me. On a good day, I’d say who cares what these bigoted backwater idiots think. Hold your head up and live there if you damn well please. That part of me is the hopeful part, that little piece of my brain that says if they know us, they can’t hate us. The other, more pessimistic, side of my brain and heart is turning 40 years old this year and knows damn good and well that haters never change. It doesn’t matter if they know us or not because they don’t listen and they don’t hear. They talk down to us and at us as if we don’t have the common sense to even know our own hearts and minds. I’ve known people like this far too long. I grew up knowing I was gay, even though I didn’t have a word for it, but I knew I didn’t get all jittery and giggly over boys. Yet when one of my best female friends (and no, it’s no one on Facebook!) left notes in my locker I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I only learned many years later that this wasn’t a shock to anyone. That makes me question everything I thought I knew about high school. Was I simply tolerated and put up with? Was I mocked behind my back? Were the dates I did have with guys just an inside joke that I wasn’t privy to? And honestly, why would I want to subject myself to that again and again and again now as a fully-aware adult? I wasn’t the only gay kid in my graduating class. Statistically, it’s not possible. Wonder where all of the others are? Far away from here. Unlike me, they didn’t bother with trying to reach anyone or changing hearts and minds. For their own sanity, they escaped the small minds and dark hearts of the world they grew up in.

I wanted to believe. When I came out, I was young and naïve. I wanted to believe that because I’m a good person that I could move mountains and change the world for the better. Nearing 40, I now know it was completely pointless. At one time, I wanted to open my heart and hear the voices of the people who didn’t “get” me, thinking it would somehow change things…if I could just understand, if I could just get some insight. It’s the infamous adage of “know thy enemy” that I clung to so desperately. The thing is that most people don’t reciprocate that notion. They don’t want to hear or open their own heart.

And at 40 years of age, I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t give a damn if they do. I know who I am. I know where I stand. I know some things that will never change for me. At this point, I don’t have to listen to the lies. This post started over the story of Constance and the right to assemble, associate, and express oneself freely in this country. Her classmates chose to not assemble and associate with her or support her right to express herself freely. So many of us have experienced this both in and out of high school or as adults in work, church, and our families. We’ve been alienated by peers and elders while being told that we should rise above the pettiness of others and be “bigger” than them, to show more tolerance and understanding than has been shown to us. To what end, I ask? Personally, I’m too old and tired to be the one reaching all the time, to make the very human connection of understanding and tolerance and compassion for another, when the same won’t be shown to me.

I don’t have time or patience for false sincerity or fake smiles. I grew up gay in the South where being false was a way of life for everyone, even the straight people. We’re famous for smiling in your face while stabbing you in the back. I’m not sure why I expected anything to have changed. I can’t speak for Constance and whether she should stay in Fulton. I know for the time I stayed in my small Southern town as an openly gay person, it was some of the most oppressive feeling I’ve ever known. Even going back now, it makes me feel sick just to drive down the highway into town or go past the high school. I didn’t feel free until I saw there was a whole world out there that didn’t see me as evil and that there are some good people in the world. The thing is, one shouldn’t expect to find it in the small world they come from. Goodness doesn’t live there, Constance. Goodness lives in you and in the good and right that you surround yourself with.

A Proposition

2007-04-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

To solve the great debate over marriage rights for gay people, I have a proposition.

There has been much discussion about marriage being a religious sacrament. For those raised in the Catholic faith, like my partner, that rings true. However, not everyone, whether heterosexual or homosexual, views marriage this way.

My proposition is that to allow marriage to continue to be viewed as a religious sacrament; however, that requires that any couple united by a church officiant is considered married by law. Note that MANY faiths are beginning to recognize, acknowledge, and provide the sacrament of marriage to gay couples. Therefore, these gay couples would be legally recognized as married.

For those who don't want to be united by the church, these couples, both heterosexual and homosexual, would have basically what we would call a civil marriage or civil union (to appease all palates). However, whether it is called a civil union or marriage is purely a technicality and a reference to the environment in which the union was performed, because both would carry the same benefits.

Is this a reasonable solution? What are your thoughts?

Bitching about Progress

2007-04-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

In New Hampshire, Washington, Oregon, and many other states, positive strides have been made in either passing nondiscrimination policies and/or civil union/domestic partnership legislation.

Some people crap on the idea of CUs or DPs because it's only half a loaf. I agree. We are not nearly done with this fight. Marriage is the ultimate goal for many of us (though I will agree not all of us). In fact, some GLBT folks would be more than happy to only have CUs or DPs because they don't want to be "like the hets." We know we are different and have accepted our difference. On the other hand, some of us want the benefits of commitment and fidelity. I've been with my partner for 11 1/2 years, we own a home together, share our finances, I've changed my name, and now we're having a child together. The commitment should count for something on the legal and civil field.

In Tennessee, it doesn't. Plain and simple.

Some GLBT folks think that we should tell society to shove their half loaf up their ass. Some of us are grateful for those crumbs...temporarily.

I will venture to say that when you have nothing, literally an environment where you may be acknowledged as existing but where you can also be legally denied recognition, something is better than nothing. I'd take that something over nothing right now. I think it's the fact that I have a child on the way that drives my attitude. It's bullshit to even have to worry about the possibility of being denied access to the delivery room when my partner goes into labor. A man never has to consider this when his wife goes into labor. Why should I?

The Little Things that Bigotry Affects

2007-04-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time getting started on this post. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around how the TN anti-gay marriage amendment weaseled itself into the most mundane aspects of our life.

Back when I first posted on the effects of an amendment within the state, I focused on the obvious problems such as being denied access to or the right to make medical decisions for a partner. Little did I consider at the time, that we wouldn’t even be able to participate in a “vow renewal ceremony” at the Tennessee Renaissance Festival.

There are two issues that bother me immensely with this, aside from the obvious discrimination. One is it’s a vow RENEWAL ceremony for those who are already married. In other words, it’s not legally binding ANYWAY. There will be no marriage certificates signed or issued at this ceremony. Second, the TRF site merely states that the ceremony is for “legally married couples” (at least as of this writing unless they change their website). However, TRF doesn’t clarify that it is a heterosexual only event. Gay couples can be legally married just not in all states.

Here is what TRF site says:

May 12 - 13:Romance WeekendIn the spirit of Romeo & Juliet, love is in
the air, along with many a love ballad. Saturday will feature a vow renewal
ceremony in which legally married couples may register to participate. On Saturday, Mix 92.9 FM will be broadcasting live from 10:00am - Noon. Our Romance Weekend is sponsored by Nashville Scene.

I emailed TRF to inquire about registering for the ceremony. Below is my email:

Regarding "Romance Weekend," how can a couple register for this? My
partner and I were married in Canada and would love to renew our vows.

TRF’s response:

Our vow renewal ceremony is a group ceremony performed by one of our vendors,
who is an ordained minister. Participants in the ceremony must be legally
married under the state laws of Tennessee. We encourage participants to come in costume. If you are interested, when you arrive on May 12, check in and register at the information/souvenir booth as you walk in.

TnRen Staff
Tennessee Renaissance Festival
2124 New Castle Rd.
Arringtion-Triune, TN
37014
615/395-9950
www.tnrenfest.com
fptrf-office1@hughes.net

For all the yahooing by the fundamentalists that the amendment wouldn’t hurt us, wouldn’t change anything, but would only reinforce one way over another, this proves that these amendments are insidious.

As an educator and one who has studied history, the Renaissance Festival was always one that I enjoyed attending. Now that my partner and I are having a child, it was something educational I hoped to share with our child. How many other programs and events will we be shut out of because of this amendment?

My first instinct is to protest. It would be wonderful to show up with a crew of other GLBT couples and their kids and have our own ceremony. The other part of me doesn’t want to support this with one of my hard earned red pennies.

What can we do when even the most inane events turn political and personal? What will we do to stop this insanity?

Marriage Wasn't Enough, part 2

2006-11-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Update to post below.

I JUST HAD to add these two comments from our newspaper online:

What is the difference between homosexuality, beastality, adultery, and any other sex offender ? Well homosexuality and adultery are pretty much accepted. The others are not. Are big employers gonna offer insurance to animals?

The homo fear factor wouldn't be complete without a reference to bestiality.

But this one made me think of a new idea:

I know people who use the ruse of same sex domestic partners to insure their roommates and their roommate’s kids on their insurance. I am sure it is more widespread than we would like to think.

Marriage rights for gay couples would put an end to this. There wouldn't even be a need for DP benefits if we were allowed to marry. Oh well, they voted for it, live with the consequences.

Marriage Wasn't Enough

2006-11-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went to a great meeting for the Tennesse Equality Project (TEP) to brainstorm ideas, post-election, to deal with next steps. It has been said many times that gay rights opponents will not be satisfied with simply keeping us from marrying. One of the board members of TEP was very clear in warning us that we have many more battles ahead in this war. Legislation has been brought up before and it will be coming up again to try to take away our right to adopt or simply visit our children in the event of a divorce.

There have also been instances in other states where companies have been attacked for offering domestic partner benefits, especially after these amendments have passed.

I have a feeling Tennessee won't be avoiding this.

An article in The Tennessean today highlighted the growth of large, national companies with a presence in Tennessee offering DP benefits. It's a great article!

However, what's interesting and downright scary are the comments! I never knew that company benefits were somehow connected to God, but apparently in TN, they should be.

Here are a few of the comments:

The chest-thumping "I have spoken!" commenter:

Let's face it, the people of Tennesse spoke very loudly last week. We don't care what you do with your partner in your house. But the majority feels that this lifestyle is not for the benefit of this state.

Hmmm, the standard "we'll have to pay for you to take care of each other" argument. Yeah, makes perfect sense to me!

It is a right, if corporate america wants to offer benefits to domestic partners, that in no way affects me. Now it does become an issue if the government does. That effects me and everyone else that pays taxes. And like the marriage admendment, should be the choice of the people.

This one cuts to the chase.

Please go back in the closet.

Love how there's always one who knows many, many gay people and that he knows several that have over 800 partners a year (guess he's counting and keeping track). Ironically, someone else comes along later to do the math, which is 2.19 partners a day-little time for work or heck even sleep!

Not to mention we should not support immorality in our society, it is not fair for the rest of us to support those people who live their lives recklessly. There is a reason God has placed rules on his people. Not to judge anyone (God’s job), we are called to live a moral life. ()

When I suggested that the TN economy would plummet if all the gay's up and left, this is the response I got:

I'm willing to risk it. Have a nice trip.

Then they have to make the comparison of our long-term, committed relationships to a whole host of harmful actions. I'm surprised they didn't throw in murder while they were at it.

The science of the matter is that homosexuality is a behavior, just like alcoholism or beating your wife (oh, partner, sorry!) is a behavior. You have a choice to act one way or the other.

And, of course, the grand finale:

To all you people being fooled by Satan into thinking homosexuality is not a choice see Leviticus 18:22: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." This passage is God's answer to homosexuality. You are in my prayers. As Christians we dislike the sin, not the sinner.

Ah, yes, tell me something I didn't already know or have had hurled at me a thousand times in my lifetime. Being original is not their forte!

Oh Yes, Tennesseans ARE Stupid!

2006-11-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

This was posted to our local paper's online comments section (bold is the commenter; italics is my response):

As to the sinister implications of “same sex marriage” here are a few. Our society would experience the loss of religious freedom. This has happened in Canada where Biblical preaching against sodomy is interpreted as hate speech.

and you should care about this why? laws were passed allowing blacks and whites to marry but it hasn't stopped my home church from preaching against it (among other things) and refusing to marry interracial couples.

The public schools will teach homosexuality because it will be the law of the land. Moral instruction on sexual matters may become obsolete and even forbidden.

proof??? schools can't even teach safe sex what makes you think they'll be teaching gay sex. btw, gay sex is not performed any differently than straight sex, only the genders are the same. i know, too much for your mind to handle.

Adoption laws will collapse with regard to the make up of the family and any party will be able to adopt children.

and being able to get kids out of orphanages and revolving foster care is a bad thing? gee, i thought you guys cared about the kids.

Children will be expected to develop emotionally without the permanence of family life.

what's more permanent than marriage? first we're condemned for being promiscuous and then those that want permanence with their soulmates through marriage are told they can't possibly be permanent. who are you to say? how many kids are already expected to develop emotionally without the permanence of family life? you know, divorce? and how many kids are shifted from one parent to the other, from grandparents to aunts/uncles to cousins twice removed? want kids in permanent environments? work on your own first, eh?

Traditional marriage will begin to disappear like it has in Scandinavia where cohabitation is the norm.

show proof, please. The fact is that Scandinavia doesn't have "gay marriage," per se, but "registered partnerships" open to only same-sex couples that give MOST of the rights of marriage but by a different name. For instance, a same-sex couple can adopt each other's children but not children outside of the relationship. So, again, this is a bad thing? What has been seen as the "fall" of traditional marriages is really the rise of same-sex couples entering into "registered partnerships." Not to mention the fact that Scandinavian countries have the lowest poverty rates and highest education rates which basically take away the need for forced marriage of heterosexual couples. They're doing it (marriage) because they love each other, not because the HAVE to.

Oh, here's my source(s):
ILGA
and
Freedom to Marry

Immorality will become impossible to avoid in public.

and we can avoid it now?

The health care industry could be destroyed.

how? so apparently having gay couples being able to care for each other "in sickness and in health" will destroy health care? that doesn't make any sense.

And for those of us who believe in the Bible where sodomy is a symbol of social destruction it could get even worse. That was why we voted for the amendment.

and that's YOUR beliefs, not everyone's. p.s. not only gay people perform sodomy. your bible also says that the races should be separated and that it's okay to have slaves, that women shouldn't cut their hair, and that it's wrong to eat shellfish, that your supposed to keep 300 concubines and sleep with your daughter. sounds like you guys have the corner on perversion and bizarre ritual!

Feel Safer?

2006-11-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

Only 5% of the precincts are reporting, but as of 8pm:

TN Constitution Amendment #1
Precincts Reporting = 5.3%

Yes 297,928 83.7%
No 58,142 16.3%

I wonder, does my neighbor feel sufficiently safe now? Am I no longer dangerous to his marriage? Does he have so little trust in himself and/or his wife that he has to keep my life in check?

With numbers like this though, I can't help but wonder how many people I know voted against me. That's the truly disturbing part.

UPDATE:
as of 11:00pm

Statewide results
Governor
Phil Bredesen (D) 1,107,680 68.5%
Jim Bryson (R) 484,476 29.9%
*Bryson has conceded

Senator
Bob Corker (R) 832,403 51.2%
Harold Ford Jr. (D) 773,542 47.6%

The Let's Fu*k Queers Over Amendment
Yes 1,264,704 80.7%
No 301,695 19.3%

Davidson County results on the amendment:
Yes 75,083 73.4%
No 27,248 26.6%

I comfort myself with the little piece of news that my east Nashville neighborhood we strong Vote No supporters.

Yet, it is sad to know that the rights of me and my family has been decided by only 27.4% of registered voters.

Another little thing that is kind of flipping me out here. One precinct is reporting these results:
Pearl Cohn School 18,168-Yes 0-No out of only 1,182 registered voters.

Hmmmm, what's wrong with this picture?

Almost Over

2006-11-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

Thank God this damn mid-term election cycle is almost over! I have a severe love-hate relationship with politics. I'll be honest though, if my personal relationship with my partner wasn't at stake, I probably wouldn't give two hoots as to what is going on. I'd numbly go to the voting booth and vote a straight Dem ticket and be done with it, but NOOO I have to have my personal life up for a vote so now it's all very personal to me. Imagine that! Now I know that I had no options for a gay-friendly Dem candidate in TN and I also know that several of my neighbors think I'm less of a human being than them. Nice...

This frustration and angst is manifesting itself now in my DREAMS! Thank goodness this only happened last night. If I had been going through these kind of dreams for weeks, I would have run from this state screaming by now.

I remember this of the dream:
I open my front door, not expecting anything unusual, to see my neighbor and a black friend of his (surprise, he looks kind of like Harold Ford! NOT!) in my front yard, kicking and stomping my Vote No on 1 sign. They're laughing and cackling as they do this.

I lose it. I start screaming every obsenity in the book: "get your sorry f***in' ass off my property!" and "I'm gonna kick your motherf***in' ass!" I grab my weedeater that is sitting on my front porch (odd because I never keep it there, but I guess I needed a weapon in my dream) and gripping it at the skinny end, motor out, I start swinging at the little shits for all I'm worth.

You know how sometimes you don't feel strong in your dreams, like when you try to punch someone and it seems like you're barely moving. I didn't feel that AT ALL in this dream. I was a machine of pure, unadulterated vicious anger, and I was going for blood.

I don't remember making contact, but I do remember seeing them fleeing for their sorry lives with their tails between their legs. It felt damn good, and by God, if anyone ever does something like that, I think I just might lose it.

Like I said, I'll be glad when this is over. Then we'll just get ready for round 2 when the fundies start going after our adoption rights and hospital visitation rights. Think it's over? Think again. This is only one battle in the war.

Tax Exempt?

2006-11-06T15:27:00.000-08:00

I thought churches were supposed to worship God, not politics. Guess I was wrong...

Tricked on Halloween

2006-11-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

Halloween, a Pagan holiday, is being taken over by "christians."

I've always loved Halloween. It's a great time of year with parties, fun, and lots of candy. My partner and I had some kickass Halloween parties back when we had all of our friends in one city. It marks the change in the seasons and I've always LOVED fall (spring I hate, it just means summer is coming and we'll be sweating like freakin' pigs for 4-5 months). But fall and Halloween mean the start of the holiday season (and cooler weather!).

But Halloween is being hijacked by so-called christians. Some of them are handing out candy with Bible quotes attached to them. And they want to claim that gay folks recruit kids? What the hell are they doing? They'll also come knocking on YOUR door, on your private property, and start preaching to you. That happened to me on Halloween this year. I opened the door to what I thought were your average trick or treaters. I should have known something was up when I saw they didn't have any candy in their bags. They were just teenagers being driven around by their parents, but they handed me a "Way to Salvation through Jesus Christ" pamphlet. You know, those corny looking tri-fold things that look like something from the 50s (guess it's appropriate to their mentality).

I don't remember exactly what they said when they handed it to me, but it was something like "we want to let you know that the way to salvation is only through Jesus Christ." It was the last thing I was expected and I just looked at them dumbfounded and said, "Ummm, okay." I wish I had snatched the candy back from them or something but I was speechless at the gall and arrogance of them.

What makes them assume I'm NOT saved? Was it the Vote No sign in my front yard that made them assume since I'm gay or at least gay-friendly that I MUST NEED SAVING? Certainly someone who is gay or a gay ally can't also be a Christian. They're lucky I am a Christian; otherwise, I would have snatched a kink in their nappy little punk asses and drug them back to their daddy's pickup truck by the short hairs.

How dare they be so presumptuous and arrogant as to come on my private property and try to preach to me!

Vote No on Harold Ford

2006-11-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

It seems I’ve been saying “no” a lot lately. Ever since Daddy Dobson showed up with his Vote Yes on Amendment 1 thugs, I’ve been in a contrary and irritable mood. I have three neighbors, in my typically tolerant and diverse neighborhood, who have Vote Yes signs up. One right next to me. They are the same couple (well, the wife anyway) who stood outside our house with us when a water main broke, flooding our house and pool, and called and recalled the water department trying to get someone out there to stop it. They’re also the same ones whose kid busted a window and the husband promptly had replaced at his expense. They’ve warned us about a freezing A/C line too. What makes people who are seemingly so nice be so vindictive?

I don’t know the answer to that. Fear, I guess. I want to go up to them on Nov. 8th and ask them if they feel like their marriage is now safe now that I can’t partake in their privilege. What do they think will happen if I marry the person I love? Does the husband fear his wife will see a new possibility and leave him? Are they afraid their son will no longer think it’s a bad thing to love someone? Like a great bumper sticker says: will I be judged for loving or will they be judged for hating?

Anyway, that’s a whole other post. This thread is all about why I say “no” to Ford. On election night, I’ll be covering the Ford/Corker race on Pam’s House Blend. Today, I’m saying “no.” I’ve been saying no on other blogs and it’s not getting a warm reception. I think I’m close to being called a troll or Republican plant. Why? Because I don’t swallow like a good little queer should?

I don’t buy the bullshit that we have to get Democrats, or at least Democrats like Ford, elected to make change. That’s utter horse hockey. Ford has been adamantly against anything to do with gay rights. Someone tell me how this is different from Corker or some other Republican. The argument is that he’ll be one of few that will think this way and that the other, more left leaning, Democrats will out weigh him and the anti-gay others. I beg to differ. Back when we had Clinton, we thought that he’d certainly be amenable to gay rights. We were crazy enough to get on the damn platform on election night and support his sorry ass. What did we get? DOMA and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. That was done by a supposedly gay-supportive Democrat. We’ll be better with Ford how? I don’t see that happening.

There’s also the argument that we’ll push him back to the left once he’s elected. How? I mean he just got elected, basically rewarded, for being anti-gay. How many people do you know will change a tactic that has worked for them? It worked for him to be as “nasty as he wants to be.” Why would he change horse midstream? We won’t move him back to the left. You don’t get a misbehaving child to behave by rewarding their bad behavior. The kid will always come back using the same tactic to get that same reward again.

Not only are we rewarding Ford, but the DNC who has turned its back on the gay community. They have given buttloads of money to the Ford campaign, and they haven’t disciplined him for being anti-gay. They just keep throwing more money at him. While you have candidates like Angie Piccione in Colorado, who is very pro-gay, going against the author of the Federal Marriage Amendment, Marilyn Musgrave, and Angie barely gets a dime from the DNC. Don’t tell me that just because we are in the South, in the heart of the Bible Belt, that we have to run nasty, anti-gay campaigns to win an office. That’s BULLSHIT! Recently, an open lesbian and Democrat won office in a predominately black neighborhood of Birmingham, AL. She got no support financially or otherwise from her fellow Democrats or the DNC, but she won anyway!

How hard would it have been for Harold Ford to simply say, when he went off about the NJ marriage court ruling, that all Tennessee families deserve to be treated fairly and that we shouldn’t try to make life harder for some families? Making lives better and helping families is a good thing and it is, in fact, one of Ford’s campaign messages. I received a mailing the other day saying that Ford believed in “enable[ing] communities and families to thrive.” How can families thrive when he’s voting for and supporting amendments that DISable us from thriving?

I wrote a letter to Ford (see thread below for full letter) and sent the mailing back asking him this very question. As a black man, he should know and realize that families come in many shapes, sizes, and forms, and not all are related by blood or marriage. The black community is a testament to this fact. What Harold is doing is hurting ALL families. He’s not just blatantly chastising gay families and making our lives harder, but he could very well be making it harder for other families.

Just like another great bumper sticker says: Be careful who you hate, it could be someone you love.

Letter to Harold Ford

2006-11-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

I got a mailing from the Democratic Party and the Ford Campaign the other day. It irked me because he's such a lying little bastard. I sent this letter back to him along with his mailing (maybe I should smear it in some of my dog's shit too because that's what his words are worth...shit):

Mr. Ford,

I received this mailing the other day encouraging me to vote for you. Thanks very much. I appreciate the personal touch.

Something the mailing said though kind of bothered me. It mentioned that you want to “enable communities and families to thrive.” That’s noble and a great thing to stand up for.

Did you consider, sir, that by voting away my ability to marry the person I love that you have DISabled me from being able to help my family thrive? The $2500 my partner and I will have to spend on legal documents just to visit each other in the hospital, which probably won’t even be acknowledged in a court of law after Nov. 7th, could have been used for so much more. The additional legal costs to defend these documents in court can’t even be calculated. Did you know that a Tennessee man had to spend $300K on lawyer fees just to get property back from his deceased partner’s family? He had all of the legal documents too. I could have given it to your campaign if you’d been more tolerant and supportive of ALL families, or maybe I could have put that money away for a college fund for our kids so they won’t have to rely on federal loans. Would it be wiser and more prudent to allow us to marry so we can provide the insurance and benefits marriage provides or to rely on government programs?

It would have been so easy for you to simply say, when you spoke out against our relationships, that no family should be penalized for simply being a family (that’s not a bad thing, you know), and that we as a state should consider ways, if not marriage then something, to help ALL families thrive.

Sir, do you want ALL families to thrive or just heterosexual families? As a black man, you should realize that families come in all forms and sometimes they’re not always blood or marriage related. What about those families, Mr. Ford?

You’re doing more than obtaining your goal of hurting gay people. You’re hurting entire communities, groups, and even the state of Tennessee. Is that your goal?

I’m a lifelong Democrat, and I didn’t vote for you. I cannot and will not support anyone who doesn’t support my family.

Regards...

No Longer a Liberal!

2006-10-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

I have renounced my liberal label!

Yesterday I voted and it felt DAMN good to give the big ol’ FU to Bredesen, Ford, and Cooper and to stand up for my right to marry the person I love. I’m really fuckin’ pissed off at the people saying they’re just holding their nose and voting anyway for bigots. They're not the ones seeing their personal lives up for a vote and blatantly disregared and "less than." You guys don't know what it feels like to have THREE neighbors within less than a mile from you have "Vote YES" signs in their yard, letting you know without a doubt that someone nearby hates you so much that they'll vote against you protecting your family.

I swear to God the Democratic Party has become so unprincipled, misguided, and well, scared cowards that they’d vote for Satan himself if he just had a “D” behind his name.

What does liberal really mean anyway?

Dictionary.com provides a few ideas:
7. free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners.
8. open-minded or tolerant, esp. free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.
9. characterized by generosity and willingness to give in large amounts: a liberal donor.
10. given freely or abundantly; generous: a liberal donation.
11. not strict or rigorous; free; not literal: a liberal interpretation of a rule.
—Synonyms 1. progressive. 7. broad-minded, unprejudiced. 9. beneficent, charitable, openhanded, munificent, unstinting, lavish. See generous. 10. See ample.
Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

The Democratic Party has taken this definition and twisted its meaning. They want so hard to be “back in power” that they have become too tolerant of unliberal beliefs. In their zeal to “tolerate” others, they’ve opened themselves to the prejudiced and bigoted parts of our world. They’re tolerating the wrong people! They’re listening to hateful bigots while turning their back on the very people who have time and again put them into power. I refuse to be a party to this blatant stupidity and unscrupulous moral blindness anymore.

Take the TN race with Harold Ford, for example (not to mention many others from across the country). Numerous “liberals” have told me they will hold their nose and vote for this unrepentant bigot and homophobe, just because he’s a Democrat. They’ve listened to the lies of false prophets saying Ford won’t be nearly as bad as ANY Republican that might get voted in. They’ve opened their minds to falsehoods and they are falling into the snare of the enemy. Sometimes, being too “open-minded” and “too tolerant” of the opposition is a bad thing.

Liberals have gotten the reputation of being “flaky” and “uncertain,” even “wishy-washy,” not by lies but by their own behavior. They’ve not taken a principled and unwavering stand on unrepentant bigotry and homophobia. They’ve tolerated the middle-road, half-loaf, back of the bus but at least on the bus mindset for too long. Their inability to be principled and firm has led to their demise and it will continue to lead to their failure to win elections.

I can’t even count how many “liberals” I’ve told that if they don’t stand firm, they will lose and continue to lose. You don’t win by mimicking the Other. You win by differentiating yourself from the Other.

I’m no longer a liberal. I’m a principled American.

prin‧ci‧pled /prnsəpəld/
–adjective imbued with or having moral principles (often used in combination): high-principled.
Based on, marked by, or manifesting principle: a principled decision; a highly principled person.
based on or manifesting objectively defined standards of rightness or morality; "principled pragmatism and unprincipled expediency"; "a principled person"

Spiritual event wants GodMen, not girly men

2006-10-29T06:36:00.000-08:00

WHY do these things always start in Nashville? Jesus! (no pun intended) I thought I had improved things by moving from Alabama, but the idiots of this world just keep following me.

Testosterone-fueled alternative to Promise Keepers debuts here

At the daylong GodMen event downtown Saturday, men will be able to cuss, smoke cigars, watch videos of football pileups and car crashes, listen to specially composed Christian rock songs such as "Testosterone High" and attend workshops on how to fight pornography addiction.

It's an effort to connect Christian men alienated by traditional church settings or men's groups with their "spiritual masculinity," said Brad Stine, a Christian stand-up comic behind the conference.

"Men are different," Stine said. "They're aggressive. They connect with sports. They jump. They scream. They've got passions that are more difficult to subdue, like lust. And a lot of things that make men energized just don't make it into church.

"A lot of church is feminine. We want to let men know that just for today, being a guy is OK. It's good enough. There's an army that will help you."

WTF?! Since when has being spiritual (notice they didn't say being Christian) about smoking, cussing, and violence??? They say the church has been feminized. That's a bad thing? Ladies, watch out for any man that would succumb to an event like this. Next thing you know, he'll be proving how Godly he is by slapping you back into your rightful place as his breeder and caregiver.

Maybe it's just me but I don't seem to recall Jesus scratching his balls while watching Nascar then slappin' his ho Mary Magdalene when she didn't watch his feet properly.

The New Jersey Marriage Ruling

2006-10-29T06:29:00.000-08:00

The results of the New Jersey marriage ruling left me with a mixed feeling. I wasn’t euphoric over it that’s for sure. Basically, the court said gay couples should be allotted all of the same rights, benefits, and privileges of marriage that heterosexuals have, but they’ve left it up to the legislature to come up with a term for it. The legislature within 180 days will have to decide to include us under the umbrella term “marriage” or create a separate line at the clerk’s office just for the homos.

The good:
•This will now give my partner and I four states to move to (MA, VT, and CT
being the others)
•It does say we should be given the same rights as heterosexuals
•The ruling never brought in the strawman issues of “marriage is for procreation,” “heterosexual marriages are best for children,” or “it’ll lead to men marrying their pet iguana.”

The bad:
•We still get 6 months of torture waiting to see if we will be considered equal citizens or second-class citizens (though without this, we were just NO class citizens)
•This ruling only works on the state level. In NJ there are approximately 65 marriage rights that we’ll be able to participate in. But what about the 1,100 federal rights we don’t get.
•Just don’t leave NJ. With state determined marriage rights, folks need to realize that the rules change from state to state. A couple can get “civil unioned” or “married” (or whatever they’ll call it) in NJ, but drive over to CT, have a wreck, and lose the right to make medical decisions for their spouse. This is the problem with piecemeal rights. Even if they call it marriage, it only applies to the rights of that state.

So many people assume this is automatic equality for us. As someone else said on another blog, this is equity, not equality. It won’t be equality until we are acknowledged by our federal government as legitimate and equal to our heterosexual peers.

That will be a long time coming for sure. The opposition doesn’t want us to be equal to them. Even many heterosexuals, who are nice to our face, hold an innate belief that we are inferior. They want us to go through incredible pains just to acquire what they get with a trip to the clerk’s office and a $20 fee.

Pam’s House Blend grabbed a quote from Victoria Cobb of the Family Foundation out of VA (note: lots of gay Virginians are leaving the state because of the homophobia there):

She said the goal isn't to drive gay people out. She said "extreme homosexual organizations" might be trying to frighten their members by circulating false information about the amendment. She said it wouldn't add new restrictions on gays but would simply underscore the ways their relationships are already restricted.

"I think it's extremely sad they would leave because of something they were never allowed to do anyway," said Cobb, who said she believed gays could go to court to defend themselves if a partner's family members challenged their right to own property in common, arrange powers of attorney or visit each other in the hospital.

Why the hell should we even have to!? WHY?! Someone answer that for me. There’s no other answer but that these hateful people want to make our lives unbearably hard and in turn establish their superiority over another group.

YOU CAN’T AMEND LOVE!

Being hateful won’t make us stop being gay and it won’t keep us from being together and building lives and families together. Since the beginning of time, we have held our relationships together without the benefit and privilege of social acceptance or a piece of .50 cent paper. We’re stronger than any law you can ever come up with. We were here yesterday, we’re here today, and we will continue to be here tomorrow, no matter what you say or do.

Oh The Irony!

2006-10-21T15:21:00.000-07:00

These are two front page images taken from our local paper, The Tennessean, a few days back. What do you think when you see this?

For those who don't know, Sara Evans is a country singer and this story has been talked about ad nauseum in our local paper. She's accused him of adultery and porn addiction. Now, apparently, he's accusing her of the same.

I can SOOOO see now how my gay relationship totally destroyed this marriage, can't you?

TN has 33% More Gay Couples

2006-10-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

According to a new study, Tennessee has seen a 33% increase in gay couples since 2000.

The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy at the UCLA School of Law found the number of same-sex couples in the United States increased more than 30 percent between 2000 and 2005. The national population, by comparison, increased 6 percent in that period.

According to the study released earlier this month, 13,570 same-sex couples were living in Tennessee in 2005, a 33 percent increase over 10,189 same-sex couples in 2000.

Approximately 2,033 of those couples were living in Nashville-Davidson County, including domestic partners Ben Papa and Brad Bullock.

"My initial reaction is that there are more people admitting to being gay and living as a couples," Papa said. "I do agree, though, that society is slowly becoming more open."

Same-sex couples increased by more than 30 percent in six of the eight states that have proposed constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage this November.
"It appears that one of the consequences of the referendums is that instead of gays and lesbians feeling less willing to be open, our data suggests the reverse," Gates said.

One of our dimwitted state Senators, David Fowler, R (of course)-Signal Mountain, who has given up his senatorial seat to head the nonprofit organization Family Action Council of Tennessee, an advocacy group that supports the proposed constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, claims

He said he had not seen a marked increase in same-sex couples in his district and did not expect the new data to influence voters' decision.

"I think the beliefs of the vast majority of Tennesseans are strongly held and years in the making," Fowler said. "I just don't see it changing their opinion."

I doubt there is a plethora of gay couples living openly around Signal Mountain anyway. How can he make such an idiotic statement? Oh, wait, he's a fundie that's how!

Do you think these amendments have caused more people to come out? Have you been more outspoken since these amendments have started popping up?

Cross-posted on Pam's House Blend.

Another Actor Comes Out

2006-10-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

'Grey's Anatomy' star T.R. Knight Comes Out

"I guess there have been a few questions about my sexuality, and I'd like to quiet any unnecessary rumors that may be out there," Knight's statement read. "While I prefer to keep my personal life private, I hope the fact that I'm gay isn't the most interesting part of me."

Guess that's that damn liberal Hollywood again!

Early Voting Problems in TN

2006-10-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

Our local organization Vote No on 1, which has been working on defeating our state anti-gay amendment, have been receiving reports that voters are being misled about Amendment 1 to our state Constitution. Evidently, a voter in one county was told that he should vote no if he wanted "two men or three women to be able to marry."

Vote No has been in contact with our Division of Elections and been assured that the counties have been notified that poll workers are not to discuss the amendment with voters, and if anyone has questions, they are not to summarize it but simply tell the voter to read the amendment.

Could these actions be considered voter tampering? I think so. What do you think?

Cross-posted on Pam's House Blend.

Who Says Gays Can't Procreate?!

2006-10-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

Melissa Etheridge and her partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, obviously can. They are parents of new twins, a boy named Miller Steven and a girl named Johnnie Rose. Is it just me or do those names sure set those kids up to be rock stars? Coincidence? Melissa previously had two children, Bailey Jean and Beckett, with her then partner Julie Cypher.

Congratulations to Melissa and Tammy!

Cross-posted at Pam's House Blend.

Truth about the TN Marriage Amendment

2006-10-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

This is a story that should make anyone on the fence on this amendment think twice. For those who are on our side, you should feel as sick and disgusted by this as I do.

Our local paper The Tennessean ran an opinion article by Rev. Jerry Sutton of Two Rivers Baptist Church. This is the same church that hosted the Justice Sunday events and will be hosting Dobson's anti-gay rally tonight (Stand for the Family). Of course, being who Rev. Sutton is his editorial was scathing of our relationships.

Our paper allows comments online to the articles and one gentleman retold a touching story. He's 72 years old and had a partner for 30 years. They had had good relations with their families. However, when his partner died, the partner's family came in and took all of their possessions and took this man to court to get the property they jointly owned. He and his partner had done all of the legal paperwork they could to try to protect themselves and their property. Unfortunately, he spent $300K on legal fees and court costs to try and get their possessions and property back. He won the battle for the property but never got their possessions back. He even had to get a court order just so the police would listen to him.

The story many that oppose us tell is that we can get the legal protections we need through a lawyer and that as long as we do that we don't need to get married. As the story above clearly states, this is a bald-faced lie. I've asked several lawyers this question and all say that we can't have any guarantee no matter how much legal paperwork we do. Marriage is the only sure way we are guaranteed to be recognized as "next of kin" and rightful inheritor of our jointly owned property.

If it was this hard before the amendment, imagine how hard it will be AFTER!

The public has been lied to and duped. The allegations of our opposition are FALSE. These amendments are not just about placing us in a second-class status but a NO CLASS status! They don't leave doors open for civil unions or domestic partnerships, but are intended to block recognition of anything that provides similar benefits and privileges of marriage. That includes legal documents. Do not be fooled!

Fortunately, there is a great grassroots movement started here in TN for support of our relationships. I'm pleased to report that even The Tennessean came out in opposition to the anti-gay amendment. In time, these discriminatory amendments will be undone, just like we've undone discrimination in the past. It'll be a long road until then, but let's do our part to make sure we're on the right side of the street. Vote NO!!!

Cross-posted at Pam's House Blend.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

2006-10-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today, Oct. 11, is National Coming Out Day.

Coming out is, for some people, a very scary process, especially if you are coming out to family or friends. For someone to come out to another person as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered (heck, even unknown!), it takes a lot of courage. However, for us to be honest with those we say we care about, it's a necessary step.

Think for a moment, how many times a day do you have an opportunity to talk about your life and those in it? How many times have you been asked, are you married, what did you do this weekend, are you dating anyone? How many times have you filled out a form and seen the options, married, single, or divorced? I've never seen "none of the above," have you? There's probably at least one instance every day that we have an opportunity to mention something personal about ourselves. Could you imagine not talking about your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband in everyday conversation? Try it sometime. Try to deliberately not speak of anything that would let someone know you are straight. That's what it feels like for us.

Being gay and not coming out to those we love is hard. We're scared you guys won't love us anymore or might judge us. If someone tells you they're gay, they've just taken a huge step in trusting you and they're being honest so they won't have to put anymore walls up. For someone to tell you they are gay is a badge of honor. It means you are a good enough person and important enough to us that we want to be open and trust you with something so personal and vital to our being that we can no longer keep it a secret.

As our ally, all we ask is that you honor the trust we've placed in you. That you "come out," as well, as our ally. That you speak openly and honestly about having gay family, friends, and/or coworkers. If you don't know something, ask. If you're unsure about something, ask. We need you. We love you. And we're thankful to have you in our corner.

The Short Discussion on Mark Foley

2006-10-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

With all of the hoopla about Mark Foley (is he gay/isn't he? is he a pedophile/isn't he? did the pages trap him or not? yada yada yada), the short discussion of this issue is HE WAS WRONG!!!

It doesn't matter if the pages were under 18 or not. It doesn't matter if he's gay or not. It doesn't matter if the pages were trying to trap him or provoke him or not.

In this situation, Mark Foley was the adult. He had the privilege of power over young men. HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!

So what if the pages egged him on? He's still the adult and should have kept a professional distance from anyone under 18.

I used to be a teacher and I had more than one female student hit on me. No matter what though I ALWAYS, ALWAYS remembered that I WAS THE ADULT and I knew which lines were never crossed. I honestly don't understand or comprehend what 30, 40, 50 year olds see in teenagers.

It's a stupid discussion, and Mark Foley is simply wrong. He needs to go. Those who covered for him need to go. If a politician can hide, lie, and cover like that, what else are they hiding?

Our Place with God

2006-09-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to be involved in a wonderful discussion at Rev. Dr. Jerry Maneker's site A Christian Voice For Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Rights with him and Stuffed Animal, of the wonderful blog Christ, The Gay Martyr, about the GLBT place in our understanding of God and who we are as Christians.

In my heart, I've always believed there was a special place in God's heart for GLBT folks. I don't think we were a mistake or apparition and especially not an abomination. We're here and we are an obvious part of the cycle of life that God intended since our genetics have continued throughout time in new generations.

What is our purpose and why are we here? Have you ever gotten that feeling that you were meant to do great things and that there was a greater purpose? I have and maybe, just maybe, the Gnostic writings that Stuffed Animal introduces to us is a hint of who and why we are. We'll never completely understand, but for those after God's own heart, shouldn't we try?

As our society continues to fight against and grapple with GLBT rights, it's important that our allies, family, friends, and our own community seek a deeper understanding of our place so we can fight the evil invading this world in the name of God.

The full discussion is here and below are a few snippets of the discussion.

It's fairly long but worth the read. The concepts of "essential orientation" vs. sexual behavior, the role of GLBTs in the faith, and androgyny and its impact on "reaction formation" in society should be discussed much more.

Dr. Maneker: I think one of the main reasons, if not the main reason for anti-Gay discrimination, is that the androgynous nature of Lesbians and Gay men just highlight, bring to consciousness, the androgynous nature of virtually everyone! That's the fear of those who are particularly sexually insecure; that's what they seek to deny to themselves and to others; hence, the hostility, and even the rage, directed against Gay people. We can never underestimate the role of what Freud called, "Reaction Formation," which occurs when a person feels an urge to do or say something and then actually does or says something that is effectively the opposite of what they really want." ...I'm still not convinced that Gay people have more of an androgynous nature than do Straight people. I think the crux of the matter is that Gay people make or seem to make that androgynous nature much more palpable and obvious to people; the ones who are the most uncomfortable with their androgynous natures, who insist they are "straight," are the ones who are the most threatened and lash out in any way they can to both remove the "threat" and to convince themselves that, after all, they are "real men," and "real women."

"Our souls are part of the eternal battle between good and evil." That's all true, except that NOTHING and NO ONE can separate us from the love of God! One of my favorite verses of Scripture is: "All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37) That's what makes the fundamentalists and biblical literalists so dangerous. Not only do they preach a false gospel, but they seek to put people in bondage and characterize Christianity as a harsh, legalistic, judgmental "religion," that has the effect of scarring others, particularly children, for life so that they either become little "stepford children" or rebel (the healthier alternative) and never set foot in those kind of churches again. Some, unfortunately, are lost to the Church forever, though not to God! God knows His own children and He will NEVER let us go!

Stuffed Animal: There's support in Gnostic scripture for what you say, Jerry. In the Secret Book of John, the Savior teaches about the destiny of LGBT souls. There are three paths for them: Those who know themselves and remain true to their nature will be taken up into Heaven. Those who do not know themselves and behave contrary to their nature will be reincarnated, paired in life with another androgynous soul and (hopefully)awakened to the truth in that way. Those who know themselves but willfully defy their true natures will descend to Satan's realm where the angel Tartarouchos awaits!

This teaching, of course, applies only to eunuchs and virgins, and it doesn't mean that people who lack androgyny aren't eligible for salvation. All souls are eligible, and those that rise from the dead will be androgynous (Luke 20). I have no idea how large a segment of humanity is androgynous, Jerry, but I do know that far more androgynous human beings exist than would be willing to acknowledge it. That's why it's impossible to estimate how many Gay people there are in the world. That's also why some of the most vicious enemies of Gay people are themselves Gay!

Stuffed Animal: That reminds me of another question I wanted to ask you. Do you believe that human sexual orientation is fluid? We've both heard people claim that they were Gay and then became Straight. I've personally heard a man say he was Straight until he became Gay by falling in love with a man. I've also encountered a blogger who claimed to be Lesbian although she wasn't attracted to women and prefers having sex with men! A co-worker of mine strongly believes true bisexuality doesn't exist; I disagree, although I must say, most bisexual folk I know about seem to take their heterosexual relationships far more seriously. I agree with him, though, that sexual orientation is NOT fluid; it's the same at birth as it is at death, and it doesn't change during one's lifetime based on who one sleeps with. What's your take?

Dr. Maneker: What I'm suggesting is that sexuality is multifaceted and it's in that multidimensional matrix that sexual orientation is frequently malleable to the point that some radical lesbians in the 1960's, for example, fell in love and married men a couple of decades later.

It's that very multidimensionality and malleability that helps create so much homophobia! That's where the Reaction Formation comes in. And that's why there is so much venom directed against Gay people, because of the interaction among one's neurobiology (that is by no means necessarily fixed at any one point in one's life regarding sexuality) and one's environment.

Stuffed Animal: I believe there's a difference between sexual activity and sexual orientation. I also believe sexual orientation isn't truly sexual orientation, but an expression of gender identity. Lots of people have discovered that orgasm can be achieved regardless of the genitalia of your partner. When I read about the sexual practices of ancient Greece and Rome, I think a lot of people knew as much in antiquity. You can never draw conclusions about someone's sexual orientation just by looking at their behavior...Deep inside, people know which gender they prefer to mate with, and by mating, I don't mean who they want to knock boots with. I mean who they'd be willing to settle down with. There are bisexual folk out there who claim to be Gay but who know in their hearts they'd never form a life partnership with someone of the same gender. "Questioning" doesn't mean orientation isn't fixed. It just means the questioning person doesn't know where it's fixed! She learns with time. I don't know what it feels like to question, and I'm thankful for that. I suspect it would be an excruciating thing to go through!

Lesbians and Gay men go through the process that Jesus Christ described in the book of Thomas, that process of awakening and realization, knowing yourself to be different. The difference involves much more than sexuality, and it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't felt it. You may be surprised to know that the first time I was touched by another man, I was repulsed. The second time, too! I didn't want anything to do with those men. Yet, both times I knew the touch of another man was natural to me, and the second time I experienced the awakening.

Sexual desire is superficial emotion that gets accorded far too much importance. I'm as convinced that homosexuality isn't its own entity as I am convinced that male doesn't attract female. Homosexuality is merely the expression of an entity: Androgynous nature. It's not the only expression, either! Androgynous gender affects more than sexuality. It also affects perception and inclination and other things I can't explain.

Me: Could environmental availability be the reason for certain sexual behaviors? As we know, sex is a perfectly natural desire, behavior, and human need. Sex makes us feel connected not just to another human being, but to the larger universe around us. Therefore, it's a necessary part of our nature as humans. Would or should that be expected to change in environmentally stringent situations?

My partner and I talk about this from time to time but she's asked me if I would feel differently about her, love her any less or find her less attractive if she had a sex change operation? At first, I think it would have been hard for me to imagine such a thing. I just can't imagine her as a man, but I also know that my love for her is about much more than her body parts. I love her soul, her mind, her personality, and even her idiosyncrancies (excuse my spelling!).

Another proposition: what if I was stuck on an island with no women around, just a man, would I have sex with him? Yeah, probably. That would be purely about "environmental availability." The man would be my only option for engaging in the natural behavior of sex. However, it wouldn't be performed out of love but a purely primal desire for satisfaction. I would certainly prefer a woman that I could possibly emotionally bond to.

Dr. Maneker: Callie: I think you touched the crux of the differences between "identity" and "essence" that has been a good deal of the focus of this discussion. My contention is that changes in neurobiology and/or environment can seemingly change sexual orientation; Stuffed Animal (and I hope I'm doing his argument justice, here) thinks that sexual orientation is fixed at birth and he/she will die with that sexual orientation, even if he/she is unaware of his/her sexual orientation, due to assorted factors.

From what you suggest, we may both be correct. "Self-identification" may be a function of behavior, belief, attitude, environment, etc. "Essence" is the result of what is immutably innate, independent of the realization of the person. Unfortunately, as you say, "It's a fascinating discussion and probably one we won't be finding any conclusive answers to anytime soon."

Me: Exactly! For instance, in that "stranded on an island" scenario, I might self-identify or simply be inferred as heterosexual; however, my essence, whether I know it or not, would be homosexual.

Having sex, a purely physical act, with a man doesn't necessarily make my straight. My spiritual and emotional orientation would still be towards women, but it wouldn't be what is available at the moment.

Stuffed Animal: It's the concept of the importance of self-knowledge that comes up so often in the Gnostic Gospels. The texts say that some of us will recognize the fullness (androgyny) within ourselves, and others of us will be in denial about it. This certainly describes how Gay people experience sexual orientation.

Jerry, you asked me yesterday about the lineage of Lesbians and Gay men. I didn't answer immediately because I was trying to think of a good way to summarize what I've been reading. Let me put it in purely clinical terms: The Secret Book of John indicates that there's a recessive gene passed from generation to generation through sperm that, when joined to a certain kind of ovum, produces an LGBT child. This genetic code first appeared in Seth, the first son of Adam (Gnostic scripture claims that neither Cain nor Able were fathered by Adam). Therefore, in theory, all LGBT people can trace their ancestry to Seth. The Gnostics referred to Lesbians and Gay men as "the unshakeable generation," "the priestly order," "free men" (Gay man), "virgins" (Lesbians) and "attendants of the Holy Wedding Chamber" (the etymological meaning of the word "eunuchs"). Beings who possess the fullness (homosexual people) are thought to defile themselves by sexual contact with those who lack the fullness (heterosexual people). For that reason, we are lacking heterosexual desire. The texts indicate this is according to God's will.

Reclaiming the Gospel

2006-09-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

In this interview with the Rev. Dr. Jerry Maneker, Professor Emeritus of Sociology at California State University, Chico, the gauntlet is laid bare for all of those who call themselves Christian.

The time to speak up is NOW! The time to reclaim the truth of the Gospel is NOW!

All decent people, particularly Christians, must confront the perversion of the only Gospel to be found in Christianity: the Gospel of grace (God's unmerited favor to us), faith (trusting God over and above seen circumstances), love, peace, reconciliation, and inclusiveness. There is no other Gospel in Christianity! We must fight against the false gospel of legalism, perfectionism, and exclusion that is promulgated by the modern day Pharisees in our midst who are attempting to hijack the terms "conservative" and "evangelical," just as they are trying to hijack the term "Christianity" itself.
...
If we don't confront them, we are culpable in their sins! ("Illegal immigrants," or another vulnerable minority group is now waiting in the wings for the haters' full venom to be expressed when they don't perceive there to be as much mileage to be gained by condemning and oppressing LGBT people as they thought.) It is important to remember, as I've written before, every single drop of blood shed by LGBT people, either through suicide, bashing, and/or murder is on the hands of homophobic clergy and their followers, and this message must be hammered home as loudly and as often, in as many venues as possible, for Christianity to have the credibility that it deserves.
...
And it's high time that that fact was recognized and proclaimed as loudly and as vociferously as possibe, both for the well-being of God's LGBT children, for the well-being of other vulnerable people and minority groups, and for the well-being of Christianity itself!

Only in "America"

2006-09-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

Ah, I see! Apparently it's considered illegal and wrong for the general public to vote on increasing taxes, but not on one of the most intimate and personal decision a person makes: who they want to marry.

God, only in our twisted version of "America" can this happen!

Opinions differ on tax vote's legality
Letting voters decide increases yet to be tested

I don't like high taxes either and I don't like the idea of folks voting on it, but I don't like being told I can't get married either by strangers.

We are one f***ed up country!

The Meaning of Family

2006-09-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when people focus on their own damn families. They're not so worried about destroying everyone else's. I think I would have given anything to have had parents like this.

Let's Show the Nation that Tennessee Respects Loving Couples

It is widely assumed that passage of an amendment to the Tennessee Constitution will guarantee that no same gender marriages will take place in our state. But that is not exactly true.

Having spent my career as an ordained minister, I am keenly aware that there are two primary dimensions of a marriage: one spiritual and one legal. At its heart, a marriage is a deeply personal and spiritual covenant between two persons who love each other and pledge to spend their lives together.

In this primary sense of the word, we have had gay marriage for a long time and we will continue to have it for as long as liberty survives in America.

How true! All through history gay couples and families have existed, in spite of all the difficulties society threw at them. If you're unsure of this, watch the movie "Aimee & Jaguar" sometimes. It's the true story of two women (one Jewish, the other a German officers wife) who fell in love during the reign of Hitler. Unfortunately, they didn't have the happy ending we all yearn for. When the relationship was discovered, the Jewish woman was taken to the concentration camps. The other tried to find her and prayed she'd survive the camps, but she didn't.

An amendment and all the laws in the world can't defeat love. We will be together no matter what society tries to do to us. The only question then is if we can't be stopped then what's the point of these amendments?

Seems to me the point is to be mean spirited and cruel. Once you understand the consequences of what I wrote about previously and you understand that we won't disappear because an amendment, what other reason is there?

What is Marriage Anyway? The Introduction to the Arguments

2006-09-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to a forum at the Nashville Jewish Community Center on “What is Marriage Anyway?” It was brought together by Hadassah, National Council of Jewish Women, and Tennessee Equality Project. The issue was to discuss the role of marriage in contemporary society and to hear various points of view on the topic of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. The upcoming vote on Nov. 7th on a constitutional amendment barring gay couples from marrying is what has made this discussion so necessary. Most of the people in attendance were supportive of marriage equality for gay couples; however, that wasn’t the intention of the groups involved. In fact, they purposefully invited local spokespeople of the Family Research Council, the two members of congress co-sponsoring the state amendment, and even a representative from Bill Frist’s office, since he co-sponsored the Federal Marriage Amendment, but all of these people declined to participate. While much of it felt like a preaching to the choir, there were some interesting points of view and a great discussion of the complexities and problems with a constitutional amendment. I thought I would share some of those with you. If nothing else, perhaps having a variety of arguments will help us discuss this issue better.

First of all, what is the amendment? What does it say?

Vote No on 1, the Tennessee grassroots organization fighting this amendment, has it posted on their website:

The historical institution and legal contract solemnizing the relationship of one man and one woman shall be the only legally recognized marital contract in this state. Any policy or law or judicial interpretation, purporting to define marriage as anything other than the historical institution and legal contract between one man and one woman, is contrary to the public policy of this state and shall be void and unenforceable in Tennessee. If another state or foreign jurisdiction issues a license for persons to marry and if such marriage is prohibited in this state by the provisions of this section, then the marriage shall be void and unenforceable in this state.

Panel Speakers included:
Rabbi Alexis Berk, The Temple Ohabai Sholom
Shelley Klein, Director of Advocacy for Hadassah National
Gene Floyd, Member of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
Chris Sanders, Tennessee Equality Project President
Abby Rubenfeld, Attorney and Former Legal Director of Lambda Legal Defense
Julian Kanter, A Father's Story

It is my hope that the three arguments I have broken this down into (Personal/Family, Civil Rights, and Religious) will help our community and our allies in formulating a sound discussion of this issue. Use what you need of this, add your own twist if you want. Even once all the amendments have been passed or not, remember that the fight goes on. New challenges will be thrown our way. New angles of fear and hatred will be tossed at us. We need to know where we stand and what we need to say. I hope this helps.

What is Marriage Anyway? The Personal/Family Argument

2006-09-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

The discussion covered nearly all of the primary issues involved with this amendment. I want to try to point out those here. First of all, marriage is a personal and family issue so this amendment is harmful to the well-being of couples, their current families, and the families they plan to create. Gene Floyd and Julian Kanter were perhaps the most touching of the panelists, approaching this issue from a very personal point of view. Mrs. Floyd, a strong Southern Baptist, took issue with individuals using their faith to hurt others, especially her son. She said in true Southern Belle fashion that she “didn’t take to kindly” to the horrible things people were saying about her son. Mr. Kanter, who has no organizational affiliation and thus perhaps no organized agenda, asked to be on the panel so he could discuss his perspective of the amendment as an average father with a not-so-average daughter who just happens to be in a 13 year committed relationship with another woman. He simply stated that he worried about his daughter being harmed by this amendment and that he was concerned about how it would leave her and her partner of 13 years vulnerable in their time of need.

All parents worry about their kids, but parents of gay children worry even more so. They know that the world isn’t kind to difference and they know their gay kids will have difficulty. It’s good to know that unlike what many of us have experienced that there are good parents out there that are trying to make the world a safer place for their kids. It’s not always easy though. As Mrs. Floyd said, “Your child comes ‘out of the closet,’ and you go in.”

In other cases, the couples have children, whether within their current relationship or a previous one, and the amendment could possibly cause long-term harm to their created families. On this particular point, it’s personal for me. My partner and I have been together almost 11 years and we have a difficult decision to make. We want to have a child, but from everything we’ve read, there is no guarantee that the known donor or a third party wouldn’t or couldn’t challenge the legality of me as a parent to our child. An argument many people make who support these amendments is that we (gay couples) can get the same protections through legal contracts. Do some reading about this because it’s simply not true, not for gay couples. The closest we can get to protection is to do insemination through a doctor who gets the sperm from a sperm bank. For us, the nearest sperm bank is Atlanta and our doctor didn’t even know there wasn’t on in Nashville or what to do to help us. Supposedly, rights of the father are automatically written off if the donor’s sperm is donated through a bank or a doctor.

On top of that, this particular amendment mentions marriage as a “legal contract”. What about other “legal contracts”? Audience members were able to ask the panelists questions by writing them on cards for the moderator. That was basically my question to Abby Rubenfeld. What about the contracts we make? Can they be void or undone or invalid if this amendment passes? She said that typically contracts can’t be retroactively invalidated because the constitution is set up to avoid that. However, that same inconceivable retroactivity also was used by the state supreme court to get the measure on the ballots without enough time being allowed for review. That has a long complicated discussion so I won’t really bother with it. However, we see how laws are being retroactively used elsewhere. Massachusetts, even though they allow gay marriages, is retroactively using an old 1912 law to stop out-of-staters from getting married. The fundamentalist groups are trying to retroactively outlaw civil unions and domestic partnerships (even just domestic partner benefits) because amendments have passed in other states. In one breath they say that the amendments won’t eliminate the possibility of civil unions or DP’s but then as soon as they pass, they start working to do just that. Once Ms. Rubenfeld put all of that out there, she concluded that there isn’t a way to stop the attempt by those wish to try to invalidate our legal contracts. So, my partner and I are basically screwed. Actually, I’m more screwed than she is. If something happens to my partner, our contracts may not be recognized and they can even be challenged. It all depends on the whim of a judge. If he/she wants to use this amendment against us, he/she certainly could.

A question was raised about what is the next battleground area for marriage equality and that very example was brought up. I believe it is Minnesota that is going through this right now. The amendment passed because the citizens thought it left an open door for some kind of separate system for gay couples. Now that it’s passed, the fundamentalist groups are trying to get the state to do away with domestic partner benefits because the amendment doesn’t allow for the recognition of anything other than married couples as defined by their new law. It’s the opposite end of the “slippery slope” theory. Fundamentalists fear our relationships will lead to the approval of polygamy or bestiality, but they’re following the slippery slope on the other end to ensure that no gay relationship is ever recognized in any form or fashion.

As for the whole polygamy/bestiality comment, (yeah someone made that comment) the panelists didn’t even acknowledge the absurdity of the bestiality issue. However, Abby did comment that polygamy was outlawed because of its power issues. There is inequitable power in a polygamist society so it was deemed detrimental to society. I’ve heard another argument about this too. Basically, for as long as we’ve had statistics, the male/female split in society has hovered around the 50/50 range. Now if one male gets to “marry” so many women what kind of inequity and problems might be created for the males who don’t get to marry anyone. What will become of these men without partners? Wouldn’t eventually this cause a bit of an inbred situation? After all one man having children with many women means those children would be blood related. If this occurred enough, wouldn’t eventually the children or grandchildren have a higher chance of procreating together? Then again, with all of the divorced and remarried couples over and over again, what’s the difference? Perhaps men are getting their polygamist tendencies out of their system but in a different way, i.e. serial marriages. The only thing I can say about the bestiality thing is, how can a dog sign the marriage contract and how will the dog say the marriage vows? Yeah, exactly, now end of that stupid point of view.

What is Marriage Anyway? The Civil Rights Argument

2006-09-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

The argument about marriage as a family issue and one where damage can be done to the family structure could go on and on. However, there are many other arguments to discuss. Another huge argument concerns the civil rights of gays and the constitutionality of these amendments. One speaker, Shelley Klein, of the national Hadassah, a Jewish women’s organization dedicated to righting social injustices, expressed her concern over the imposition this amendment made to individual civil rights. Though there has been some contention in Hadassah over gay rights, one thing they couldn’t ignore is that no matter what they may feel over “gay rights”, per se, is that a trend is occurring where these amendments supersede simply gay rights and transition into a civil rights issue. In other words, one group is pointedly left out of the social equation with these amendments and as such the Constitution is being used as a tool for discrimination, instead of its traditional use in expanding rights to the disenfranchised.

Other speakers, like Chris Sanders and Abby Rubenfeld, reiterated this point several times throughout the night as well. For them, this was the basic argument no matter what our religious or personal views were on the amendment. It is wrong and discriminatory to cut out one group from the social fabric of our society, to single them out for inequitable treatment. The constitution, whether state or federal, has never been used for this purpose. It’s contrary to our very essence as a country where we have worked hard and used the constitution to expand rights for the disenfranchised, not remove rights. Another thing we have not done as a society until now is put the majority in charge of voting on the rights of the minority. The constitution states that it is there to protect the rights of the minority from the tyranny of the majority. What’s more tyrannical than saying you can’t marry the person you love? What connotes more control and dominance over an Americans personal rights and decisions than to say we don’t like it so you can’t do it? And, as I pointed out above, this is about more than marriage but about trying to control even our ability to provide health insurance (DP benefits) for our partners. A “benefit” which by the way we pay huge taxes on. My partner and I both had DP benefits for the other at different times. We lost an extra $200 a month on taxes to cover this “benefit.” Heterosexual couples don’t pay that tax.

Some groups will claim that with the obvious argument that our marriage rights aren’t about civil rights that the majority has been determining the rights of the minority since the founding of the country. However, those were not through direct votes but through their legislators. We’ve seen how much backbone our legislators can have with this issue (please note, I’m being highly sarcastic) so why not use the tried and true process of letting the elected officials make these decisions. Because history has shown as well, that anytime a majority tried to undermine the rights of the minority it was found to be unconstitutional. The proponents of these amendments think that by being able to say that the voters directly said they don’t want gays to marry that it will have more weight. It won’t. These actions were found unconstitutional once and they’ll be found unconstitutional again, an affront to our basic civil rights. What is more basic of a civil right than marrying the person you love? Sure, our opposition say we have the right to marry as long as it’s someone of the opposite sex, but how would they like it if the rule applied to them. Sure, they can marry as long as it’s someone of the same sex. Why marry someone you don’t love? Wouldn’t such behavior only perpetuate the problems surrounding divorce and broken families?

Abby Rubenfeld made a tongue-in-cheek observation but still one that is very true. She said she began her legal practice in the 1980s in NY at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Back then, there was railing and ranting about how gay people, especially gay men, were so promiscuous. However, gays now are wanting to settle down, be responsible, but are told that they can’t by these very same people. As Abby said, “Someone needs to make up their mind.”

What is Marriage Anyway? The Religious Argument

2006-09-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

Now, the final argument is the religious argument. You know, “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” Chris Sanders pointed out that if you get in a discussion with someone whose main point is that one-liner, then don’t bother discussing it further. The argument is lost. In many cases, those who want to make their arguments against gays based on their religious beliefs are lost. We won’t be able to reach them so it’s not beneficial to knock our heads against the wall trying to get through.

However, let’s look at this from a different angle. Not all faiths recognize ONLY heterosexual relationships. The United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalists, (of course) the Metropolitan Community Church, Reformed Judaism, and some Episcopalians and liberal Baptists are just a few that do perform ceremonies for same-sex couples. Rabbi Berk mentioned that she had performed quite a few ceremonies for gay couples, but just as with a heterosexual couple, her signature on the contract has no power unless approved by the state. If a heterosexual couple came to her for a ceremony but didn’t have the marriage license, the ceremony would only have religious significance afforded by the couple’s faith, but it would hold no civil significance. They would be no more married in the eyes of the state than a gay couple.

So, the bottom line is that religious marriage and civil marriage are two different concepts. This amendment is about civil marriage, that which is recognized by the state, not by all religious groups because in essence, this amendment doesn’t recognize the practices and beliefs of ALL religious groups, just those that don’t recognize gay couples. In this sense, it contradicts the separation of church and state and it discriminates against the religious freedom of those who do and want to perform ceremonies for gay couples. As history has shown us with interracial marriage, churches can choose to perform or not perform a ceremony. If it goes against their teachings, the couple can find another church. My home church, a Southern Baptist church that was started by my ancestors, told one of my distant cousins that they wouldn’t perform a marriage ceremony for him because he was marrying a black woman. Did that stop the civil recognition of their marriage? No. He went to his to-be-wife’s church and had it done there. The same holds true here. A church can and should be able to decide they won’t marry gay couples, but it shouldn’t be the practice of the state to enshrine that discriminatory practice into law or to allow for only certain religions recognition of their practices.

There could be a lot more said about the religious argument, perhaps too much to mention now. I did find it interesting that Rabbi Berk, when confronted with the whole “Old Testament condemns homosexuality as an abomination” argument that she simply said that the Old Testament, like the Torah, is the historical foundation of our faith. It tells the story of how we as a religious people came to be, but with the coming of Jesus for Christians and the Rabbinical text for Jews, a new story was told. One where we weren’t tied to the old ways but were allowed to recognize God through new ways. For Christians, Jesus brought a new covenant epitomized in the Gospels where “love thy neighbor,” “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you,” and “judge not lest ye be judged” were the guiding principles of the new Christian faith. A discriminatory amendment is contrary to these teachings of Jesus.

Kind of on the heels of the religious argument is the phrase in the amendment “historical institution.” If we looked at marriage solely as an “historical institution,” wouldn’t that mean that married women whose husband dies has to marry their husband’s brother or that parents get a dowry for choosing the right husband for their daughter or that a man can have a concubine of 300 wives? It seems that describing marriage as an “historical institution” opens more doors to a “slippery slope” than anything gay couples could possibly bring to the table.

Something For Fun

2006-08-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

Considering I've given up on politics and haven't had much to say (to sum it up though...Dems suck, Repugs suck even more...there!), this is just for pure shits and giggles.

I got tagged over at Pam's House Blend (yeah, I feel the love!) so now it's your turn to suffer.

Fill it out for yourself and pass it on!

1... Things that scare me
My fundie mother
Southern Baptists
Black gay Republicans

2...People who make me laugh
My wife
Suzanne Westenhoffer
Pam
This pic of sHillary

3...Things I hate the most
Liars
Shitstirrers
People who tell me I’m not good enough for marriage then cheat on their spouse

4...Things I don't understand
How in the world 30% of Americans are still dumb enough to like Bush
Black gay Republicans
Homophobic “liberals”

5...Things I'm doing right now
Duh…doing this list!
Putting off doing something productive
Watching hawt Jessica Biel in Brade: Trinity (yummmm)
Drinking Canadian Mist

6...Things I want to do before I die
Marry my wife…legally
Have a job I actually look forward to going to
Take my wife on a romantic vacation preferably outside of the U.S.
Learn to kick major ass through some kind of martial arts or weapons training

7... Things I can do
Hehehehe…I could say something SOOOO naughty here
Cook a kickass steak on the grill
Make AWESOME homemade margaritas and martinis

8... Ways to describe my personality
Of few words
Painfully ordinary
Stubborn (how else would you describe someone who hasn’t talked to her bigoted mother in over 3 years)

9... Things I can't do
Home repairs of consequence
Work on the car (aside from washing it)
Sing (well)
---Ditto this from Pam!

10...Things I think you should listen to
your own mind and heart

11...Things you should never listen to
Anyone who thinks you’re going to hell but has never met you

12...Things I'd like to learn
a foreign language so I can get the fuck out of the U.S.
patience and understanding
a useable skill
To be a bartender

13...Favorite foods
a big hunk of steak
Shrimp
Pad Thai
Fajitas (really it’s just an excuse to have margaritas)

14...Beverages I drink regularly
Coke (fuck that diet shit! We’re going to die eventually so we might as well enjoy it while we’re here)
Coffee, definitely the caffeinated version

15...Shows I watched as a kid
Charlie’s Angels
Facts of Life (my teen years anyway…oh, yeah, had a thing for Jo)
The Bugs Bunny and RoadRunner Show (loved those Saturday mornings)
Brady Bunch

16...People I'm tagging (to do this meme)
Anyone who wants to bother

Local Gay Church Joins UCC

2006-06-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

This is a great article about Holy Trinity Community Church, a
predominately GLBT church here in Nashville, joining the United
Church of Christ:

United Church of Christ offers 'home'

At least four-dozen congregations have left the United Church of
Christ, or U.C.C., between July 2005 — when the resolution was passed — and last January, according to Barb Powell, a denomination
spokeswoman. That has helped drive a 10.7% dip in the denomination's overall membership and 4.9% drop in its number of churches over the past five years.

But in the Bible Belt, the United Church of Christ's stance is
resulting in something of a growth spurt, attracting not only
churches withpredominantly gay and lesbian members, but also others leaving their denominations because of disagreements over their positions on gay and lesbian issues.

Membership is up 79% in the denomination's Southeast Conference —encompassing Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, South Carolina and the Florida Panhandle — where three churches have joined in the past two months and other churches have contacted the denomination to begin the process of joining, according to the Rev. Tim Downs, of the Southeast Conference of the United Church of Christ.

...

The 10-year-old church began in an east Nashville living room and has grown to a congregation of 250, moving to a new building in January. Most of the church members are gay or lesbian, but about 10% are not, said Andrews-Looper, who does not generally preach about gay issues from the pulpit.

Many congregation members have left other churches that did not
accept their sexual orientation, she said.

Angie Smith, 36, said she had left one of Nashville's largest
nondenominational churches after letting the pastor know she was gay. His response, she said: "you're welcome to worship here, but you can't be involved in church life or hold any leadership positions."

"I was looking for a place to serve," said Smith. "If I'm led into a leadership position I want to be able to do that." Smith said joining a national denomination will give her that chance.

"I always felt worse when I left church than when I went in," said Phillip Haynes, 46, who said he grew up Southern Baptist and tried the Catholic Church before turning to Holy Trinity about six years ago. "I left because of the prejudice."

"I could not be myself at church and I always thought that God hated gay people," said his life partner, Steve Deasy, who was raised in a Church of Christ. "This is the first church that's opened its arms and accepted me for who I am."•

Glimmer of Hope in TN

2006-06-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

It appears Gov. Bredesen may be eating some crow when Tennesseans go to the polls to vote on marriage equality. His prediction that the anti-gay marriage amendment will pass by either 85% or 95% could be terribly off-base.

Out & About Nashville, a local gay and lesbian newspaper, released the findings of a recent Zogby poll showing that “59% of Tennessee voters agree that gays and lesbians should have the same rights under [the] law as other Americans.”

The poll questioned Tennesseans on the upcoming change to the Tennessee Constitution and their voting plans. Surprisingly, only 60% of respondents supported the amendment while 33% didn’t. A significant portion (6%) had yet to make up their minds. With other states passing these amendments by margins as great as 86% in Mississippi, gay Tennesseans see a reason to hope that eventually their fellow citizens will treat them as equals.

Randy Tarkington, campaign manager for the Vote No on 1 effort to defeat the amendment, said, “We are happy with these polling numbers as a starting point for our campaign because what they show is that the voters of Tennessee support fairness and they have serious misgivings about adding discrimination to our state’s constitution.”

The survey also found that as many as 55% of Tennessee citizens are weary of changing the Constitution.

Out of Sorts

2006-06-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been absent for a while. New job, long trip, and basically tired of the crap. I've found that there are few places to go in the blogosphere where my opinion is respected. The DNC...well, after the crap that Dean pulled by showing up on the 700 Club, it's been downhill for the party from there. It's like it opened a door for any other Dem who is chickenshit to jump in behind him. Hillary is doing it. Our own reps here in TN are doing it (Bredesen and Ford). They're chickening out on being a REAL Dem and standing up for all oppressed groups, so they cower to the religious fanatics on the right.

I got tired of reading about it, hearing about it, and trying to fight against it. If the Democratic party wants to sell its soul for a handful of votes (MAYBE, if that), then go for it. They won't get my vote or my money.

Vote NO in NOvember!

2006-04-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

It's time to stand up, to vote, and be counted. It's time to do the right thing for all Americans. It's time to look out for all families.

Vote NO on Amendment 1!

This is the proposed constitutional amendment that Tennessee voters will consider on November 7th, 2006:

The historical institution and legal contract solemnizing the relationship of one man and one woman shall be the only legally recognized marital contract in this state. Any policy or law or judicial interpretation, purporting to define marriage as anything other than the historical institution and legal contract between one man and one woman, is contrary to the public policy of this state and shall be void and unenforceable in Tennessee. If another state or foreign jurisdiction issues a license for persons to marry and if such marriage is prohibited in this state by the provisions of this section, then the marriage shall be void and unenforceable in this state.

Our goal is to ensure the proposed amendment is defeated.

Notice the language attacking alternative legal contracts, policies, and laws. That's what's dangerous about this amendment. Visit the website and learn more about why this amendment is a problem for all Tennesseans.

Good for Bank of America!

2006-04-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

As a gay customer of BoA, I say thank you for standing up to bigotry. Lots of links in this article, but the bottom line is that corporate America knows better than to openly discriminate against gay people.

Bank of America board slaps down shareholder anti-gay proposalAnother winger proxy issue comes to vote at a corporate shareholder meeting (see earlier post on Kraft blowing off its stockholder fundie).

This time it's Bank of America, and its board has recommended the rejection of Louisiana shareholder Virginia M. Brown's proposal which would require BoA's management to "amend its written equal opportunity policy to explicitly exclude reference to sexual orientation."

The right wing wants to act like discrimination against gays won't hurt businesses or their states, but in the long run, it will. We know where to go, where to live, and anyone that values diversity knows this too.

Yank 'Em Out!

2006-04-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

Well, this should help with the overcrowding in our public schools and maybe our kids can finally get a real education. We're not that fortunate though. They'll stick around just to aggravate the rest of us.

Southern Baptist faction ready to pull kids from public schools

TN Legislators Go To Work for James Dobson

2006-04-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

A classic quote from TN Senator David Fowler on his reasoning for taking a job with the Tennessee group Family Action Council (affiliated with James Dobson's Focus on the Family), which is gearing up to pull out all efforts to get the anti-gay marriage amendment passed here in November:

"It will allow me to engage fully in those issues that really brought me to the legislature in the first place without the distractions of all the other things we must do, discuss and debate up here," Fowler said.

Sooooo, building roads, caring for the homeless, dealing with our failing TennCare situation, focusing on the horrendous ethics issues facing TN are not important...making sure gays can't marry IS. Okay, whatever.

Thoughts on the Kids

2006-04-27T18:17:00.000-07:00

I recently did a presentation at a conference in Atlanta on religion's influence on our private lives. As I did my research, I came to the realization that the religious "right" has moved from focusing on the lost cause of adult homosexuals to kids, whether it is the right of gays to adopt, to marry, or even now for gay teenagers to have a social club at school, it all comes back to kids.

Do a little research for yourself and see if it's not true.

Here's one recent example.

But it's not hard to find more. Just search for GSAs or gay-straight alliance, and you'll find plenty.

If they can control the minds of the children, they can control society. But remember, for every GSA that these people try to shut down, there is a kid like the one I used to teach many years ago that went home one day and put a shotgun in his mouth after years of being called "fag" by his classmates and having teachers turn a deaf ear.

Hell, I was even one of them in my fundamentalist, homophobic days. I told this student when he tried to confide in me that "maybe if he didn't act so sissy, then maybe he wouldn't get picked on.

Screw the DNC!

2006-04-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

Awww, hell! I don't visit this site for a few days then I go back just to see what's going on. Then I find this under the GLBT section.

DNC to launch LGBT Pride Program

Continuing groundbreaking work from the 2004 campaign, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) will soon launch "Pride at the Polls: 2006." This proven program is designed to educate, register, engage, and mobilize the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) and youth communities and help elect Democrats at all levels. We will be partnering with the National Stonewall Democrats Federal PAC and the College Democrats of America chapters.

The "Pride at the Polls: 2006" program will be centered on LGBT Pride season, which typically runs from late May through the end of July. LGBT Pride festivals, which attract hundreds of thousands of LGBT-receptive voters and young people each year, have proven to be one of the most effective venues to reach LGBT and progressive voters.

The goals of the program are to establish a Democratic Party presence at as many LGBT Pride events as possible, increase the visibility of the LGBT community within the Democratic Party, and give community leaders an opportunity to engage in a process that will help support the election of Democrats up and down the ticket. And we plan to have fun while doing it.

When this party gets serious about us, will be when they stop letting us get beat up by these anti-gay marriage amendments, when they stand up for Feingold and others who have stood up for us, and stop cowtowing on the issues important to our community.

They're still asking for votes and not giving anything back.

And Then You Have...

2006-03-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

The Ex-Gay Conference

Indiana Wesleyan University will just be a pleothora of "ex-gay" men and women honing in on this town of other young men and women...hmmmm, to "Live Out Loud", per the conference's theme.

Now if that just isn't screaming gay, look at the pics of the young men serving as "ex-gay", all-stars!

I'm sorry, but look at the mouth on that big ol' queen, hammin' it up for the camera! And that other boy is just too pretty not to be gay. They're foolin' no one, but I sure bet they have a grand ol' pansy (get it, GOP) of a time at these conferences (don't you ever wonder why they have so many of them?) among "their own kind."

The Unhinged Values Voters Conference

2006-03-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my...the VALUES VOTERS (a virtual Who's Who of wingnuttery) descended on DC the last couple of days to proclaim their Contract with Congress (you know, the other unhinged wingnuts like Mitt Romney and now John McCain) as the end-all, be-all of human existence. And BY GOD, if they had their way, that's exactly the way it would be...the end of human existence.

This is just a sampling of some of their Contract babblings:

We are citizens of the United States of America and subjects of the sovereign Creator, acknowledged in the Declaration of Independence as the Supreme Ruler and Judge of the World. We strongly affirm our allegiance to the Constitution of the United States, and are moved by our faith in God to join together now to defend government of, by, and for the people against the greatest assault it has ever faced: the destruction of our Constitutionally-mandated republican form of government by judges who legislate from the bench and, thereby, subvert our liberty and our entire way of life.

In defense of our national principles, our Constitution of self-government, our decent character, and our shared national identity, we the undersigned citizens of the United States come together in support of actions we hereby agree to be right and necessary for the common good of all.

We therefore seek the following:
1. TO AFFIRM the national relationship with God in our places of worship, schools, mottos, and public spaces, we call for the passage of -

* The Pledge Protection Act to prohibit activist judges from taking "under God" out of the Pledge (H.R. 2389, S.1046);
* The Constitution Restoration Act to prohibit activist judges from ruling against acknowledgments of God (H.R. 1070, S.520);
* The Public Expression of Religion Act to prohibit activist judges from ordering taxpayers to pay lawyers who seek to erode our national relationship with God (H.R. 2679); and
* The Workplace Religious Freedom Act to promote religious accommodation in employment (H.R. 1445, S. 677).

Okay, this last one I think is kind of interesting. These people obviously don't know how to write measurable and obtainable goals because it's kind of vague. Based on their description, they can't really stop me from setting up a pagan altar in my office and dancing naked as I chant to the Goddess.

I don't think they thought about that particular part of "religious freedom." Or what about the part where a Muslim can stop in the middle of his presentation to the company president while he says his prayers toward Mecca? Or maybe you have a major deadline coming up but half of your staff is Jewish and it's falling out right during the high point of Yom Kippur so everyone takes a vacation?

TV is NOT Liberal

2006-03-28T06:54:00.000-08:00

The United Church of Christ has a new ad campaign out that AGAIN has been rejected by all of the major networks claiming "it's a controversial, issue-advocacy ad".

The "Ejector" commercial shows various groups of people getting the "boot" out of church, including a single African-American mother with a crying baby, a gay couple, an Arab-American, a disabled person, and a homeless woman. The closing says, "The United Church of Christ - no matter who you are, or where you are on life's journey, you're welcome here."

This is a bad message???

I've been to a church where a homeless woman was given the cold shoulder because she couldn't afford to wear a designer dress and a Louis Vuitton purse. These attitudes are VERY real though not as literal as the commercial implies.

When someone wants a place to worship God, why should they EVER be or feel rejected? How is it okay to show erectile dysfunction ads on TV but not an ad for an inclusive Christian church? Since when did it become okay for the leaders of our country to flip the bird in church, say "goddamn" in reference to our Constitution, and "go fuck yourself" to their colleagues without reprisal, but they have the nerve to judge the lives of gay people?

How did we become this nation?

This is Family Values???

2006-03-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

Dude!!!

Okay, I've got Republican friends and some vague Republican acquaintances that I choose to keep at a safe distance (for both of our sakes), but when you hear all the BS and broohaha about gays being the end of all human civilization and destroying the family, THEN you see and hear things like THIS, you REALLY have to wonder...

WHO TRULY HAS THE REAL FAMILY VALUES??!!
Justice Scalia flips the finger in church

Bush on the Constitution: 'It's just a goddamned piece of paper'

Cheney Utters 'F - Word' in Senate

Anti-Gay Marriage Amendments a Problem for Straights

2006-03-27T07:52:00.000-08:00

Ohio's straight and unmarried couples are learning a tough lesson today, and perhaps anyone who voted on the "protect family values from the dangerous gay agenda" agenda is learning that they aren't immune from ill-thought out legislation aimed at hurting people.

You see, Ohio voted in '04 like a lot of other places did to hurt gay couples, to put them in their place, and say, "Nope, you can't partake in marriage. That's just for us heteros." It looks like that has come back to bite some heteros in the ass.

The Blend reports that:

On Friday, the 2nd District Court of Appeals ruled that state amendment leaves all unmarried people, straight or gay, ineligible for protection under the law in domestic abuse cases.

Each and every state that has passed one of these anti-gay amendments is, in fact, penalizing anyone in a partnered relationship who is a victim of domestic violence that isn't legally married.

The marriage amendment battle will be on the ballot this year in Alabama, Idaho, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Virginia and Wisconsin. Citizens of these states need to realize the ramifications of these amendments.

It's not just about punishing gay people anymore. Are you so blinded by disgust and hate that you are willing to hurt yourself or someone you know just to hurt us?

Dems Feeling the Heat

2006-03-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

A recent closed door session between gay leaders and Dem leaders left the Dems with their butts feeling a bit stung. Slowly more and more news will come out about this, but the bottom line is that the gay community is tired of being crapped on by the Democrats. It's time to put up or shut up. To add fuel to the gay fire, a new poll released by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press shows amazing trends of support in nearly all areas for the gay community.

The Blend summarized this well:

* 51% oppose legalizing gay marriage, a significant decline from 63% in in February 2004 (after the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision leading to the legalization of marriage).

* A 60% majority now favors allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military, up from 52% in 1994.

* In the South, the only region in which a majority of residents (55%) opposed allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly, the opposition is at an incredible 35%, with 58% supporting open service.

* Even when you look at Republicans bigotry is losing traction -- 46% favor allowing gays to serve openly and 46% are opposed.

* 46% support gay adoption, up from 38% in 1999.

And look at this -- Pew finds "strong" opposition to gay marriage has ebbed to a new low in almost every demographic group except the bible-beating, Dobson-approved, whining evangelicals (56% of them still strongly oppose legalizing gay marriage, down from 65% two years ago)

One of the best quotes up on The Blend came from Evan Wolfson of Freedom to Marry:

"They will never be anti-gay enough to satisfy their opponents"

All Dems are doing is pissing off loyal gay voters and putting themselves on the wrong side of history. They are hurting themselves by looking weak to their opponents and disloyal to their constituents. The next election they lose, go ahead...blame it on the gays because this time it WILL BE because of us that you lose. Because we won't be voting for you, until YOU support us! Yes, we ARE you're weak link until you strengthen us.

Reprehensible Attitude

2006-03-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

A Tennessee State Representative makes no bones about her attitudes towards gays and lesbians, particularly those who are parents. In a recent email exchange with a Vanderbilt graduate student on the topic of gay parent adoptions, Republican Rep. Debra Maggart said that gay couples have “numerous emotional dysfunctions and psychological issues.”

The story has made its rounds on several blogs (Tennessee Guerilla Women and The Blend, most notably), our local GLBT paper, and eventually our local paper, The Tennessean, got the story after several days. You can read the details on the links provided, but what I find most interesting is that Rep. Maggart and the committee assigned to review this issue had several groups come in to present information on gay and lesbian couples adopting children, including the very anti-gay Focus on the Family (I might add), but I have YET to find any information on whether Rep. Maggart or any of the committee members have ACTUALLY spoken to any gay parents or their children.

Perhaps, it would be wise before jumping to erroneous conclusions or listening to potentially biased third party organizations that these representatives meet with and listen to those affected by their judgments. Have they ever talked to a child that has been shuttled between foster homes and asked if they would care if they were in the home of a gay couple? Would they care if that home was the LAST home they got sent to and they could finally call their real home? Have they ever gotten outside of their offices and talked to anyone about these issues or are they content listening to bigots at Focus on the Anus, um, I mean, Family?

Bush Admin. Funneling Millions to Faith-Based Programs

2006-03-22T06:17:00.000-08:00

This doesn't surprise me so I won't pretend shock. But I will do is ask this: what is different from taking money from taxpayers and putting it into programs like Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare, which conservatives loath, and taking money from taxpayers and giving it to religious organizations and faith-based nonprofits?

The answer: RELIGION...and everything that's tied to it, including the bias and prejudices inherent in a particular faith.

The Washington Post has the story and The Blend does a good follow-up on it. You can read it all there, but here is the lead in from the Post:

For years, conservatives have complained about what they saw as the liberal tilt of federal grant money. Taxpayer funds went to abortion rights groups such as Planned Parenthood to promote birth control, and groups closely aligned with the AFL-CIO got Labor Department grants to run worker-training programs.

In the Bush administration, conservatives are discovering that turnabout is fair play: Millions of dollars in taxpayer funds have flowed to groups that support President Bush's agenda on abortion and other social issues.

Under the auspices of its religion-based initiatives and other federal programs, the administration has funneled at least $157 million in grants to organizations run by political and ideological allies, according to federal grant documents and interviews.

The Blend pulls out these factoids:

Pat Robertson's Operation Blessing took in $23.5 million (yep, gay-bashing, call for the execution of international leaders Pat Robertson)

The Door of Hope Pregnancy Care Center in Madisonville, Ky., a small outfit of four part-time employees committed "to the belief in the sanctity of human life, primarily as it relates to the protection of the unborn," operated on an annual budget of $75,000 to $79,000, most of it raised from an annual banquet and a "walk for life." Last year, Door of Hope got an abstinence education grant of $317,017, allowing it to hire staff and expand.

In Dyersburg, Tenn., the Life Choices Pregnancy Support Center, where the staff believes "without reservation or qualification that the Scriptures teach that human life begins at conception," had revenue of $81,621 and could pay Executive Director Natalie Wilson $12,247 in 2001. Two years later, the center got a $534,339 grant for abstinence education. By 2004, annual revenue totaled $617,355.

Bishop Sedgwick Daniels (pictured above as a convention delegate) met “with top administration officials” and also met with “the president himself.” Later, his church received $1.5 million in federal funds through Bush’s faith-based initiative.

So, the way I see it, my money is going to religious-based programs that basically don't fit with my belief system, and somehow this is okay. Conservatives don't see a problem with this. FYI, a conservative tool on the Tennessee Guerilla Women's site got on a rip about "social programs" but he had no problem with "faith-based" programs. Yet, it's only a problem to conservatives if THEIR money goes to a program that THEY don't agree with on moral and religious grounds.

A Nutcase Site-Must Read

2006-03-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, you guys have to read this "essay" on this site. It's called "Understanding Homosexuality." Here's my favorite part from it and my dissection of it for you:

The homosexual agenda. Extremely organized – especially through the internet – and very supportive of each other, they are typically in the top 10% of the economic strata and concentrated in the big cities, in the media, and the arts. Almost all homosexuals avidly promote their agenda, and their success has been mind-boggling.

What agenda? I missed that booth at the last Pride Day and didn't pick up my latest copy.

Supportive of each other? Yes, that's why so many gays vote Republican because we're REALLY looking out for each other...uh, huh!

Top 10% of the economic strata? Well, we sure as fuck can't rely on anyone else, much less our worthless govt. Besides, we have to have some financial cushion to pay the thousands of dollars in legal fees to set up our estate plans, when we should just be able to pay $30 and get a marriage license, and when we have to go to court with the not-legally-recognized-in-laws because they want to yank our partner off of life support or kick us our of the house or take the kids or...yeah, whatever, go fuck yourselves!

Concentrated in the big cities and in the arts? Ummmm, what young, creative, not to mention self-respecting gay person would want to live in Opp, Alabama???? Alrighty!

Avidly promote their agenda? Well, I'm not going to shut up and sit still while the world kicks my ass! What the hell do you expect?

Our success has been mind-boggling? Ohhhhhhh, you mean having nearly half the U.S. states voting against your rights is a success, not being recognized as a legitimate and protected minority by our own government, having absolutely NO federal protection whatsoever, and even being attacked by our President and our religious leaders as the downfall of society and family so that a law MUST be enacted to disregard us as legitmate. Thanks for clearing that up. I never would have figured THAT out!

And WHO is a Threat to Society?

2006-03-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

Ohio couple loses custody of adopted kids

A couple accused of abusing their 11 adopted special-needs children by making them sleep in cages lost permanent custody Monday.

Huron County Juvenile Judge Timothy Cardwell awarded custody to the county, which had placed the children in foster care last fall after a social worker discovered the enclosures.

The judge ruled earlier that Michael and Sharen Gravelle had abused the children, and he said evidence showed there was a good chance they would repeat the behavior.

The couple have pleaded not guilty to several charges, including child endangerment, in a separate criminal case. They deny abusing the children, ages 1 to 15, and say the beds were necessary to protect the youngsters, who suffered from psychological and behavioral problems.

MEANWHILE, back here in Tennessee, I get an email from our local gay rights organization, Tennesse Equality Project, telling me that tomorrow for the second time a representative from my state, who previously co-sponsored anti-gay adoption legislation last year and was stopped, is attempting to introduce family bills that could AGAIN open the door to anti-gay and anti-family legislation.

The list and litany of TN legislative bills are HERE!

I just don't get these attacks. The fundamentalists are trying so desperately hard in state after state, even here in TN, to force women to have babies (even in cases of rape or incest), to keep people from having access to birth control, and to keep age-appropriate sex education out of the schools. Inevitably, all this will do is create a swell in the population. Now mind you, it won't be for the rich and affluent. They'll still have their special doctors with that special room in the back for that "special" procedure, or at least be able to afford the flight to a foreign country to make it "go away." The problem will be in the upsurge of an impoverished class becoming more impoverished and less able to pull themselves out of poverty. Without access to care and treatment, they are doomed to repeating the cycle.

Ask yourself: what purpose does this serve the wealthy, the affluent, the corporation, the politicians, and the preachers?

There's a helluva business to be made in the "faith-based initiative" organizations. Lots of funding and government support. With a huge poor population desperate for jobs, you have a labor force eager for any kind of wages, any kind of hours, any kind of situation. Cheap labor is a corporate moguls wet dream. Greedy politicians love desperate people too. They need scapegoats and boogeymen to attack. They are easily mollified and molded to believe any fear. These people desperate for a way out of their situation and a way to feed their families will even be willing to die in war, die for something they don't believe in, if it means their family will be taken care of.

Empty promises from an empty and soulless country. Riding on the back of fake morality and family values, we're allowing married couples to cage children but saying gay couples will destroy family and society.

In the words of our dear leader, I think we're doing "a heckuva job" without any help from the queers.

I Hate Updating!

2006-03-17T13:56:00.000-08:00

Shit! I hate updating! At request I changed the look of my blog, and granted, it is easier to read, but (CRAP!) I lost everything...my counter, my links, etc. Okay, not EVERYTHING, but those tedious things that you don't want to bother with filling back in. That's why I haven't been blogging lately. Not because the damn world isn't falling apart and not because I'm not pissed off, but because once I get started I'm going to want to fix EVERYTHING...and that's going to take a while.

SIGH...

How you serious hardcore bloggers do this day in and day out, I'll never know! If someone told me I could quit my job and get paid to do this, sure, no problem. Seriously, how?

OMG!!!

A Little Message for Republicans

2006-03-06T17:46:00.000-08:00

Short, sweet, and to the point!

Report: Gay Prevention Programs Harm Teens

2006-03-06T13:44:00.000-08:00

If you look at the theocratic dominionist movement as of late, you'll see a disturbing trend: a focus on kids. From forcing military recruiters that actively discriminate against gays on college campuses to stopping gay-straight alliances to form to encouraging parents to send their kids to ex-gay camps, it's pretty clear that the theocrats have honed in on the next generation. And they say we recruit! Pffft!

A national gay and lesbian group is accusing several religious organizations of harming homosexual teens by offering parents what they say are bogus therapies to keep children from becoming gay.

In a report released Thursday in Miami Beach, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute questioned whether the therapies are ethical or effective and said state and federal authorities should provide greater oversight when these programs are aimed at youth.

The report said some Christian-based gay prevention and treatment groups have used the First Amendment protection of religion to avoid sanctions by state health officials seeking to enforce regulations on counselors who offer therapy without a license.

Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman said officials need to ensure that those offering such therapies are licensed — as opposed to simply being clergy — and that clients and their parents should be informed about the programs' long-term success rates.

"Many of these programs are crossing the line as to what is approved under freedom of expression," Foreman said in an interview with reporters. "This deserves attention. It deserves to be regulated."

The report was released in Florida because it is home to Exodus International, the umbrella organization for Christian ministries nationwide that seek to convert gays to heterosexuals.

Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International, said he had not seen the report but maintained that the ministries are successful. He said Exodus' 130 affiliated ministries use clinically trained professionals, though he added that only 30 percent have onsite professionals.

More Reaming of Hillary

2006-03-06T12:45:00.000-08:00

I quit reading the Washington Blade quite a while back when it was getting too right-wingy for me and too cozy with the HRC/moderate "play nice" politicos, but this was posted on Pam's House Blend and I thought it was a nice jab at Hillary "I'm trying to out DINO Lieberman" Clinton:

In her speech on the Senate floor, she said, "I believe marriage is not just a bond but a sacred bond between a man and a woman." Another reality check: She's known for decades that in her own case the institution was never so limited and in fact was a not-so-sacred bond between a man and several women, including his wife and untold Gennifers, Monicas and others.

Man, you could hear the gay boy snaps of approval on that one!

Oh, yes, Hillary, your marriage is just SOOOOO sacred!!! What you really need to watch out for are the gays who can do marriage better than you and at least know to kick their philandering partner to the curb. You're a sorry excuse for a woman and for a Democrat.

The Danger of Dildos

2006-03-06T12:25:00.000-08:00

This was too funny NOT to post! I wonder if these high and mighty fundies can actually bring themselves to say the word "dildo" on the floor of the legislature and I wonder how many snickers they get!

My question: is there a "grandfathered" in clause? Just wonderin'.

The Dire Problem of Dildos in Tennessee

Apparently, lawmakers in this impoverished red state can't find enough serious problems to address, so they've turned their minds to sex, specifically sex toys.

For unknown reasons, State Senator Charlotte Burks (DINO) and State Rep. Eric Swafford (R) have been thinking a lot about the activities going on your bedroom. They have come to the conclusion that Tennessee will be a better place to live if the state regulates your bedroom by outlawing dildos.

Dildos today, mandatory missionary position tomorrow.

U.S. Women Forced to Give Birth in Shackles

2006-03-06T12:22:00.000-08:00

From Tennessee Guerilla Women's site:

(originally posted in NY Times)

Shawanna Nelson, a prisoner at the McPherson Unit in Newport, Ark., had been in labor for more than 12 hours when she arrived at Newport Hospital on Sept. 20, 2003. Ms. Nelson, whose legs were shackled together and who had been given nothing stronger than Tylenol all day, begged, according to court papers, to have the shackles removed.

Forget South Dakota! Pray you're never incarcerated! Jesus Christ!

Film Won't Fix Society

2006-03-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

Now that the Oscars are over, I think this opinion article in my local paper is very appropriate and timely. In fact, my partner and I was talking about all of the Brokeback jokes and such. I haven't been finding them very funny, but then again, I don't find the story of two closeted gay men unable to find peace with themselves or each other very funny...tragic, but not funny.

Anyway, it made me think about the fact that the jokes stem from heterosexual discomfort. Look at who is making them and most will be supposedly heterosexual men. Our Puritanical society cannot deal with open sexuality very well so what do we do...we crack stupid jokes. So, your kids will no longer say "That's so gay!" for something being retarded or stupid, but "That's so Brokeback!" because it's the only way we know to deal with discomfort. Just like the only way our Ennis could deal with his feelings was to punch the person he loved, Jack.

We're not so different then the men on that mountain and a film won't change that. Only we can change that!

Great opinion piece...Enjoy!

It takes more than a film to fix a society

I'm dubious about the Brokeback Mountain effect because Americans are so schizophrenic now about gay rights. On the one hand, ballot measures and constitutional amendments — including our own in Tennessee — to deny gay and lesbian people equal rights usually pass with large majorities. Meanwhile, Americans flock to a bumper crop of Hollywood films with gay characters and themes, including this year's multi-Oscar-nominated Capote, Transamerica and Brokeback Mountain, and straight men allow the "queer guys" to make them over on TV.

Pardon me for being confused.

Should Brokeback win tonight at the Oscars, particularly best picture, Hollywood and the U.S. will pat itself on the back for being so enlightened about gay people. Ledger and Gyllenhaal will continue to make sure everyone knows they are straight and will dutifully respond to questions about kissing another man. And the rest of us will carry on in our bipolar way, of loving the fictional "sinners" while hating the real-life ones in our own towns.

We'll be all for straight movie stars playing gay characters getting fair treatment while standing by while real gay people are fired from jobs, kicked out of the military, denied adoption and excluded from the 1,000 rights that come inherently with civil marriage.

I'm waiting for Hotel Rwanda and Schindler's List to put an end to genocide. The Grapes of Wrath didn't end poverty, nor did Guess Who's Coming to Dinner end racism. Brokeback isn't the cure-all for gays, either. It takes more than movies to do that.

Christian TV empire savors a tax blessing

2006-03-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

One of the local housings of the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a break from the courts here in TN. Now that they can be considered a church and not an entertainment complex, they don't have to pay property taxes, but the city in which it's situated will have to pay TBN back $300K.

It's A Nice Gig If You Can Get It!

A ruling that means Sumner County and the city must refund the theme park-like Trinity Broadcasting Network complex here more than $300,000 in taxes ends an 11-year skirmish and gives the colorful owners much of what they’ve wanted — status as a church.

Under an administrative judge’s decision approved by a state commission last month, televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch have the state’s blessing to stop paying property taxes on their auditorium. It is familiar to millions of TBN viewers worldwide as one location of the Praise the Lord show, a glitz-filled mix of prayer, musical entertainment and requests for money.

What's interesting is a poll that was included on the online newspaper The Tennessean about this. Readers were asked: Should satellite mininstries like the TBN complex in Hendersonville pay property taxes?

83% said Yes!!!

The Tennessean was also kind enough to post some exemptions churches get:

Exemptions in Tennessee for certified churches
• Tax on property so long as it’s used for religious activities or is a parsonage. Trinity Broadcasting Network’s auditorium, where services and revivals are held and the Praise the Lord show is broadcast, are deemed exempt, but not its gift shop.
• Items purchased – sofas, dishwashers, liquor, a Cadillac or others – are sales-tax-free so long as they are for the church’s use.
• A church can buy bricks and other building materials tax-free and, unlike other nonprofits, can provide the materials for a church project to a contractor without him having to pay sales tax. That goes for carpet also.
• A person can buy a television or other item tax-free if he’s going to donate it to a church.
• A church with a restaurant can buy food at a market tax-free, but the customers would have to pay sales tax on the price of the meal. Activities that are not regular, such as an occasional bake sale, can be carried out without charging sales taxes.
• A church can buy items tax-free to sell in a gift shop. That includes everything from the SUV-shaped car deodorizer along with cross necklaces found at the Trinity Broadcasting Network gift shop. But, the church must charge sales tax to its customers.
• Federal income tax

Source: Tennessee Department of Revenue and IRS

Like I said...NICE GIG!!! If you can get it.

One Time Too Many

2006-03-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Today I received one time too many emails from the Democratic Party asking for my money, my blood, my sweat, and my tears, and I'M SICK OF IT!!!!

I'm sick of having a hand stuck out in front of me constantly WANTING but NEVER giving! From Bill Clinton to John Kerry, the gay community has been sold out by the roadkill of this sorry party that got stuck in the fu**ing middle and couldn't make up its mind.

Today, I slapped away the hand that demanded more from me than it would ever give to me in return.

This is what I said:

Until the Democratic Party starts appreciating and recognizing the importance of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community to its election and re-election efforts and stops demanding money, time, sweat, and tears from us without giving us anything in return except contend, I will no longer give anything to the Democratic Party, including my money and my time, but will only support those who OPENLY support my community.

Wednesday Laughs

2006-03-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

Because sometimes you just need to laugh, instead of cry!

Laugh at him while you can!

I just can't believe people actually voted for someone like this! Now, that's the crying part!

Study: Gay Health Imperiled By Denial Of Marriage

2006-02-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

Tell us something we didn't already know!

A new national study shows widespread psychological and social harm inflicted on same-sex couples because they are denied the right to marry.

The study, called “I Do, But I Can’t" was released at a San Francisco news conference Tuesday by the National Sexuality Resource Center and is the first first peer-reviewed study to analyze the impact of marriage denial on the mental health and well being of gay men and lesbians.

The co-authors are Gilbert Herdt, PhD, anthropologist, and director of the National Sexuality Resource Center at San Francisco State University, and Robert Kertzner, MD, practicing psychiatrist, and Adjunct Associate Research Scientist in the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University.

They found that on average, married individuals have better mental health, more emotional support, less psychological distress, and lower rates of psychiatric disorder than the unmarried.
...
"Marriage denial creates what experts call minority stress, the psychological effects of constant discrimination that bars individuals from the legitimate means of achieving goals that are valued by the society in which they live,” said Herdt.

"Lesbians and gay men work just as hard as heterosexuals do in creating and maintaining committed relationships, but they do not get the same tangible benefits."

The study also found that heterosexual networks are subtle but critical mechanisms that support marriage.

A case study of a town in rural Oregon revealed how heterosexuals routinely relied on churches, schools, and neighborhood visibility to secure or enhance jobs, access social support such as childcare, and form local political alliances. A same-sex couple residing in the same town was shut out of this structure of opportunities.

Minority group members were seen as disadvantaged in attaining monetary success because of exclusion from common social structures. For lesbians and gay men, marriage denial leads to a similar minority group disjunction between goals and opportunities the report says.
...
A gay man, Stuart Gaffney, told reporters about himself and his long-time partner, Jonathan Lewis.

"When we were able to marry in San Francisco, the burden of shame was lifted away. We had a taste of all we had missed. Thirty days later our marriage was invalidated and we felt the shame placed back upon us,” Gaffney said.

"The stigma and harm caused by denying committed lesbian and gay couples the choice to marry fuels a vicious cycle,” added Herdt.

"Fictitious stereotypes attribute promiscuity to gay men and lesbians, fueling the false belief that they are immoral and reinforcing in the minds of critics the ineligibility of lesbians and gay men for marriage and parenthood. The new proliferation of this old prejudice through the denial of marriage by sexual orientation, like all injustice, is harmful to us all.”

The findings of the report come as no surprise to people engaged in mental health in the gay community.

Earlier this month 365Gay.com reported that a counseling center that provides psychotherapy services to Austin's LGBT community found that the constitutional amendment passed by Texas voters last November is taking a toll on the mental of health of gays and lesbians in the state.

A British study released this month also found that legalized same-sex unions boosts both the mental and physical health of gays and lesbians.

Children of the Corn???

2006-02-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

The title may be fantastical, but it may not be far from the truth.

Has anyone else noticed the consistent attack on public schools lately? There's constantly a scandal. Here in TN, nearly every other day, there is a new news report about sexual misconduct between teachers and students, and it crosses all lines. There's constant reports of misuse of funds and misuse of power and misuse of this, that, and the other. Fear is being built up over the schools.

Reports come in left and right about teachers teaching "inappropriate" subject matter or principals not letting kids pray at lunch or something else silly. Then you have the groups trying to shut down anything and everything that doesn't reflect something directly Christian in nature (not just religious...Christian). Gay-Straight Alliances...attacked as sex groups. Health education classes...attacked as teaching homosexuality and promiscuity. Biology classes...attacked for not teaching that the only way the world could have been created was in 7 days by a mysterious, omniscient, vengeful, male God!!!!

Now, we have this...Generation Joshua! Their goal is to "ignite a vision in young people to help America return to her Judeo-Christian foundations."

There are 31 chapters in the nation with the largest in East Tennessee (no surprise there!).

This group is actively engaged in the legislative and political process and growing their organization through youth and child involvement.

Fourteen-year-old President Bill Waldrep says his group is against abortion and same sex marriage. As a faith based organization, Generation Joshua promotes conservative viewpoints. 16 year old Kaity Proctor is taking a stand against separation of church and state.

"We took the church out of the state, but you've still got that thing of our founding fathers were Christians and they put God in the government and the way things have gone now, it's just gone almost," Kaity says.

Ah, yes, do one of two things: take kids out of public schools where there is free thought and open inquiry or dismantle and destroy public schools from the inside out by eliminating free thought and open inquiry.

What's the best way to do that when we know that the next generation is the most open-minded and tolerant but to raise up little hatemongering bigots from an early age?

A Tale of Two Stories in Alabama

2006-02-28T09:31:00.000-08:00

Similar topics but at different ends of the spectrum...

This highlights, I think, the diametically opposed world's we now exist in. On one end, you have extremist right-wing religiopoliticians whipping their red meat base into a frenzy over the scary gay couple they've never met wanting to get married. On the other end, you have the results of that fear culminating in the death of a gay man and a weak sentencing of his killer because he was able to use "the gay panic" defense.

I would say "only in Alabama," but I don't think that's so anymore. It just so happens these stories DO come out of Alabama.

James L. Evans of Auburn First Baptist Church bravely steps into the shoes of his predecessors of civil rights causes. He is highly-regarded and makes no bones about the negative politics and underhanded use of religion to gain political points.

Pam's House Blend has an excellent article linking the Decatur Daily about Rev. Evans.

In Alabama, the last thing we need to worry about is a surge of gay couples flooding the courthouse with marriage requests. In Alabama, we need to worry about the future of our public school system. We need to be concerned about the status of our healthcare safety net for children and senior adults. We need to be worried about an unfair tax structure and grossly ineffective constitution.

We have some serious issues before us here in Alabama, but gay marriage is not one of them. It is a wedge issue, a whip designed not to inspire voters to vote for better government, but to frighten voters into electing a savior.

And the last time I checked, that job was already taken.

Pam also pulls a report out of Birmingham of 20-year-old Raymond Carlisle who killed adjunct professor of sociology at Birmingham Southern College, Sammie Speigner III, and then claimed the "gay panic" defense saying he was attacked by Speigner. Of course, considering Speigner is dead, we'll never know for sure.

Carlisle says the attack left him "traumatized." Yes, he was so traumatized that after he killed Speigner he "stole the professor's credit card to buy beer, cigarettes and gasoline later in the day while joyriding with friends. Even worse, he rented the car to another friend and was finally arrested while smoking dope inside the car, which he had upfitted with a new tag and freshly tinted windows."

For this, he could get paroled in 10 years. No problem, it's not like a gay man's life means anything...at least, not in Alabama.

Say What?!

2006-02-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

From Pam's House Blend:

Bring on the End Times

Pastors of some of the largest evangelical churches in America met recently in Inglewood to polish strategies for starting five million new churches worldwide in 10 years -- an effort they say they hope will hasten the End Time.

The Rapture and Second Coming of Jesus always has been the ultimate goal of evangelicalism. But when that would occur was any Christian's guess.

The "Billion Souls Initiative" of the Global Pastors Network aims to shorten the path to Judgment Day by partnering church resources with the latest communications systems to spread the gospel.

In an interview at Faith Central Bible Church in Inglewood, James Davis, president of the campaign, said, "Jesus Christ commissioned his disciples to go to the ends of the Earth and tell everyone how they could achieve eternal life.

"As we advance around the world, we'll be shortening the time needed to fulfill that great commission," he said. "Then, the Bible says, the end will come."

The only good thing to come from this is that these nutcases will be Raptured away from the rest of us so we can FINALLY live in peace! Please Jesus save us from your crazy ass followers and their Republican tools!

You Know You're Still a Republican If...

2006-02-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

Got this AWESOME list from a fellow blogger site. Very funny!

You Know You're Still a Republican If...

You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.

You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay’s.

You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem.

You support the "war on drugs" but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly.

You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s kids deserve everything they have.

You like the way George Bush walks.

You think Al Gore is "wooden" and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.

You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.

You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.

You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world.

You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.

You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.

You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.

You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction.

You don’t believe "terrorism" has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man.

You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal.

You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.

You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago.

How Would You Feel?

2006-02-24T08:22:00.000-08:00

How would you feel if you had to go to work everyday wondering if your co-workers had gone to the polls and just voted against your relationship, if they had just invalidated you forever?

How would that make you feel?

I'm finding out the hard way. Our state ACLU has been trying to help us fight a legal way out of this, but the inevitable will probably come in November. Citizens will push buttons and pull levers in Tennessee to validate or invalidate my 10 year monogamous relationship.

The concept still astounds me. Jesus, all I want to do is to be left alone so I can care for my partner. Why does this bother everyone so much?

From the Great Minds of Bloggers

2006-02-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

I'm pulling this post from a thread below. Thank you Bill for your wonderful comments! Incredibly insightful and well-spoken! It speaks to the heart of the current issues and troubles. We must continue to speak out...

I wonder how history will view this period of American politics. This ruse of making gays the boogeymen, the whipping boys, for the moral ills and the transmogrification of traditional American family values into the decadent excesses and moral ambiguities of 2006. Frightening this must be to those over 60. But even more frightening to those who so fear change, so hold dear the security of their status and the comfort of their family and the esteem of their position in society – to see all around them, wretched moral decay. Oh, politicians are clever and this generation has produced some of the cleverest. And in Machiavellian style they have looked for a scapegoat – not unlike how other minorities have been scapegoat in the past – we all know about those.

Whether there are witches to burn, or heretics to torture, or Jews to incinerate – or homosexual perverts to bash. Whip up frenzy, diatribes of ignorance, even exhort from your pulpits to exorcise the demons. Bring down the queers and their liberal weak nelly girly men supporters – for we are Americans, strong men brave and proud, and our women folk obedient and dutiful.

Nature seems to require that history repeat itself.

State after state has heard the call – rise up and defend your families, your youth, from the queer hoards that are at your borders. Carve deep into your most sacred texts, that no queer is to be tolerated, no sexual deviant quartered, no homo pervert to be comfortable in your midst. Roll back if necessary the very foundations of equality and permit the shadow of dark beliefs, from chapel and church, to take the helm of state and guide our nation through these waters.

And from heaven’s rim must Copernicus and Newton, Darwin and Galileo, even Socrates and Plato sadly shake their heads at how past lessons learned are lost. And how an extreme authoritarian right can, in the name of all that is good and holy, cause such pain, such anguish such inequity.

The hallmarks through time are glaringly similar – hypocrisy thy name is zealous conservatism. Lie enough and the ignorant masses believe, even you will begin to swallow your own lies. Oh how arrogant it is to have beliefs of one forced on another – for beliefs are just that, imaginings without fact. And when fact is dismissed out of hand, then one begins to have insight into principle motivations – power. Power and more power. Power for survival – to insure security of self and family. Power commands respect.

And the Republican Party has cleverly taken attention away from their naked power grab by turning such a powerful spotlight on the sexual bogeyman hiding in everyone’s ignorance.

And state after state is brought into this unholy alliance such that an overwhelming tyrannical majority is at the gates of the very Constitution – determined to craft hysteria into solid and everlasting law. In the name of good and God.

Oh how far have we as a people drifted, not just from God’s message but also from democracy’s message. How far from the idea that “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” was preeminent. That love and tolerance hold the majestic heights. That reason, common sense, humility, and individual accountability supercede myth, ignorance, superstition.

Odd, one might think this wouldn’t happen at a time when America’s stated position around the world is liberty and equality and recognition of minority rights. We fight that Iraqi women can vote, that Afghan girls can go to school. We demand that China give it’s population free and unfettered access to truthful information.

Yet – at home – we legislate and mandate the second-class status of millions of Americans who, through no action or fault of their own, happen to be of a different sexual orientation. We object, as a nation, to the beheading of homosexuals in Muslim countries – but can not see our own type of intolerance here.

Realizations have swept the world over and over through time, fighting against ignorance and those whose vested interests are at risk. But fact and reality eventually win out. As it is now in much of Europe – who as distant parents have come to realize essential truths not yet accepted by an arrogant and upstart progeny.

Timing is everything – and without the match, that spark of the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision that ignited this bonfire – perhaps this whole ugly episode would have been avoided, as the generations next in line are far more knowledgeable, accepting, progressive, and unfrightened of homosexuals. That generation may well have even expanded gay rights in conformity with The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada and in line with the thinking of much of the western world. And certainly in line with scientific and medical opinion.

And it may end up as an historical irony that the religious right’s ascendancy on this issue may be both short lived and followed by a backlash, that for some time will brand such power grabs from the right as exactly what they are. The Inquisition had their moment. Osama had his moment. The Nazis had their moment. And far right extremist religious conservatives in American may surely have theirs. But there is always a price to pay and history will record that as well.

Adoption and Parent Rights New Hotbed Issue

2006-02-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't noticed, more and more stories are popping up in the news not about the SCARY gay marriage topic, but about the more low lying issues of gay adoption and parental visitation rights, particularly of gay parents who are now in custody battles with their partners.

Just like straight couples, gay couples meet, fall in love, decide to have kids, and then sometimes fall out of love. Then the custody battles start.

This case in Utah is a prime example:

Utah Moves To Block Gay Parent Visitation Rights

Also, there is an ongoing case of a dissolved relationship between a lesbian couple has been battled back and forth between the Virginia and Vermont courts. Virginia has extreme laws forbidding recognition of gay relationships and the relationship (or lack thereof) of gay parents to their children. Vermont, where the couple had a civil union, on the other hand, recognized the validity of the relationship. Virginia claims it doesn't have to recognize another state's laws. What a mess when everyone is doing their own little thing!

For all the people who think a little paperwork at your local attorney can cure all, don't be fooled! The ones who have been cooking up these legal battles have been thinking this through for a long time. They're happy to see each state coming up with their own private solution. It wreaks legal and social havoc, plus they've had the opportunity to stack the courts their way so they are damn happy to get us in a courtroom.

Oh, no, we don't need no stinkin' marriage! Just give me the freakin' stack of paperwork and the court date. Believe me, it's already been set.

NY LGBT Leader Refuses to Support Hillary

2006-02-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

This is indicative of the divide being created within the Democratic Party between the GLBT community and its leaders.

Since the death kneels to our community of Don't Ask, Don't Tell and especially DOMA, that were signed by Hillary's husband, the Democratic Party and the GLBT community have been heading toward an inevitable clash.

Like stated in this article, I can't see the logic or reason behind giving money to candidates that have been very clear in their disdain for our community. It's all well and good that Hillary has supported AIDS-funding (bully for her), but she still supports a "separate and UNequal" status, basically second-rate citizenship for gay Americans. That is NOT acceptable!

If you back off from this what you find is a candidate who gives pity or sympathy support to a section of American society. She feels sorry for us so she gives half-assed support for us, but never equality. For that, bitch, you don't get our money.

Gay Rights Leader Calls For Halt To LGBT Support For Hillary Clinton

N.J. Cop in Benefits Battle Dies

2006-02-19T06:42:00.000-08:00

Lt. Laurel Hester died Saturday morning at her home only weeks after winning a long battle with Ocean County freeholders over who would get her benefits. She was 49.

Hester's longtime partner Stacie Andree was at her bedside when she died.

Hester had been ill with cancer for some time. Until she became too ill to work Hester was a lieutenant with the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office. She had worked there for 23 years - more than half her life - and was a member of the New Jersey Police and Firemen's Retirement System.

Although the state's five other pension systems allow its members to pass pension benefits to domestic partners the NJPFRS does not. Under the state's domestic partner law local governments can transfer pension benefits.

For months Ocean County freeholders refused to allow Hester to transfer her benefits - amounting to about $13,000.

Knowing that she had very little time to live Hester made a final plea from her hospital room.
Appearing weak, and breathing with the help of a machine, she said on a video tape that she feared partner Stacie Andree would lose the home they shared after Hester dies.

Nevertheless, freeholders refused to reopen the issue. But following news coverage including television reports which showed Hester's deteriorating condition, freeholders were besieged with critical phone calls and emails.

Fearing a backlash from voters state GOP leaders from the county held a conference call with freeholders and threatened to bring in legislation that would amend the police and fire pension fund to permit domestic partners to receive benefits.

Freeholders quickly agreed to reopen the case.

In a special meeting on January 25, they quickly voted to allow the transfer of benefits. Despite her fragile condition, and against her doctors' wishes Hester showed up at the meeting to personally thank the politicians.

In a voice barely audible Hester thanked the freeholders saying it "was democracy at its best."

While Ocean County politicians dithered over transferring the benefits nearly a half dozen other municipal governments in the state immediately changed local laws to permit the transfer of benefits to same-sex domestic partners and the case became a rallying point for gays and lesbians across New Jersey for full marriage rights.

Arguments were heard earlier this week at the state Supreme Court in a marriage equality case.

Is It Genes or Choice?

2006-02-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

Is It Genes Or Choice?

The discovery that affiliation with the Republican Party is genetically determined was announced by scientists in the current issue of the journal NURTURE, causing uproar among traditionalists who believe it is a chosen lifestyle.

Reports of the gene coding for political conservatism, discovered after a decades-long study of quintuplets in Orange County, CA, has sent shock waves through the medical, political, and golfing communities.

Psychologists and psychoanalysts have long believed that Republicans' unnatural disregard for the poor and frequently unconstitutional tendencies resulted from dysfunctional family dynamics -- a remarkably high percentage of Republicans do have authoritarian domineering fathers and emotionally distant mothers who didn't teach them how to be kind and gentle.

Biologists have long suspected that conservatism is inherited. "After all," said one author of the NURTURE article, "It's quite common for a Republican to have a brother or sister who is a Republican." The finding has been greeted with relief by Parents and Friends of Republicans (PFREP), who sometimes blame themselves for the political views of otherwise lovable children, family, and unindicted co-conspirators.

One mother, a longtime Democrat, wept and clapped her hands in ecstasy on hearing of the findings. "I just knew it was genetic," she said, seated with her two sons, both avowed Republicans. "My boys would never freely choose that lifestyle!" When asked what the Republican lifestyle was, she said, "You can just tell watching their conventions in Houston and San Diego on TV: the flaming xenophobia, flamboyant demagogy, disdain for anyone not rich, you know."

Both sons had suspected their Republicanism from an early age but did not confirm it until they were in college, when they became convinced it wasn't just a phase they were going through.

The NURTURE article offered no response to the suggestion that the high incidence of Republicanism among siblings could result from their sharing not only genes but also psychological and emotional attitude as products of the same parents and family dynamics.

A remaining mystery is why many Democrats admit to having voted Republican at least once -- or often dream or fantasize about doing so. Polls show that three out of five adult Democrats have had a Republican experience, although most outgrow teenage experimentation with Republicanism.

Some Republicans hail the findings as a step toward eliminating conservophobia. They argue that since Republicans didn't "choose" their lifestyle any more than someone "chooses" to have a ski-jump nose, they shouldn't be denied civil rights which other minorities enjoy.

If conservatism is not the result of stinginess or orneriness (typical stereotypes attributed to Republicans) but is something Republicans can't help, there's no reason why society shouldn't tolerate Republicans in the military or even high elected office -- provided they don't flaunt their political beliefs.

For many Americans, the discovery opens a window on a different future. In a few years, gene therapy might eradicate Republicanism altogether. But should they be allowed to marry?

NOTE: Yes, this is tongue-in-cheek, satire. If you don't get it and you're not laughing, then you're probably a Republican or WAAAYYYY too conservative (lighten up!). Thanks to my friend, Nigel, of the Know Thy Neighbor blog for this funny.

A Brief Intro Intro Into Non-Violent Resistance

2006-02-12T12:09:00.000-08:00

An excellent "teaching" post by Sadie B. on the Tennessee Guerilla Women's blog and I wanted to share. A Part II should be forthcoming. Personally, I'll admit I've responded in all of the four ways mentioned, particularly withdrawal, but always come back to resistance. It is the only way to successfully move towards positive and active change.

A Brief Introduction to the Theory of Non-Violent Resistance
Part I (with apologies to Starhawk)

by Sadie B.

We begin with an assumption – the world is not okay the way it is. There are times when it is necessary to struggle.

What I propose to demonstrate to you is that non-violent resistance is a legitimate and effective answer to the problem of injustice.

So what is non-violent resistance?

We’ll start with the resistance part of the construction. One way of looking at it is this, when faced with injustice there are four basic ways we can respond:

1) Compliance – just go along with it because it’s easier that way
2) Rebellion – fight back in a way that damages yourself while leaving your target unscathed
3) Withdrawal – check out of the situation
4) Resistance – fight back in such a way as to change the situation

Compliance is, of course, the easiest path to take, but the problem with it is sort of self-apparent. You are participating in and perpetuating the injustice yourself. This does not solve the problem.

Rebellion is often more emotionally satisfying, but it too has its drawbacks. Imagine, for example, you are a student in a public school where students are treated unfairly. You rebel by dropping out. Without a diploma you are at a disadvantage in the job market, but your absence has no little to no effect on the administration of the school you left behind. It might even strengthen their hand, since from here on out they can point to your miserable self as an example of what happens to people who don’t toe the line.

In the life of an individual, withdrawal is often what we turn to if and when we realize rebellion doesn’t work. You don’t go along with the system 100% but you make no effort to fight it, either. You put your head down and tell yourself none of this is your business, anyway, what do you care? The disadvantages of this approach are more subtle. First of all, when you check out of the situation you are depriving yourself of information that might be important. Information you could use to change things, if only you were paying attention. And secondly, when you withdraw, you deprive the world of yourself. Because you just never know, what if you are the one holding the specialized talent or the key insight, the piece of the puzzle that could turn everything upside down?

Through process of elimination if nothing else, that leaves us with resistance as the most desirable approach. Given the stubborn reality of injustice in the world, doing something to change that reality really is the best we can aspire to.

Something I should point out at this time is that resistance is the best approach, but for this same reason it is the most difficult and draining one. It’s hard. It may be easy to commit a single act of resistance, but to sustain it for days, weeks, months, over multiple issues and in the face of constant confrontation takes more inner strength than regular humans are generally equipped with. We cannot all of us be King, or Ghandi.

But the good news is, we don’t have to. Knowing that resistance is always a possibility makes all of our choices real choices. This is what is important. We can say:

"I will obey this time because this issue is not where I choose to make my stand."
Or
"I will rebel, even if it accomplishes nothing, because I am feeling self-indulgent today."
Or
"I will withdraw now to conserve my strength, but return tomorrow with my eyes open."

What is important is to be aware of our choices, to be aware that we have choices. To be, in the words of one of my favorite people, "non-self-deluding."

Give to the New Bedford Hate Crimes Fund

2006-02-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, February 2, 2006, Jacob D. Robida, 18, entered Puzzles Lounge in New Bedford, MA with a hatchet, a gun and a question. His question was, "Is this a gay bar?

The positive answer that he was given prompted Robida to put three innocent men in the hospital as Massachusetts was rocked with one of the biggest hate crimes in recent times:

Alex Taylor, 29, of Fairhaven was hit in the face multiple times with the hatchet as well as shot in the face by Robida. Alex Taylor remains hospitalized.

Luis Rosado, 22, of New Bedford was shot in the stomach by Robida as he exited the mensroom. Luis Rosado remains hospitalized in serious condition with a shattered liver.

Robert Perry, 52, of Dartmouth who came to the aid of victim, Alex Taylor, received lacerations to the face from the hatchet as well as a bullet wound to his back which just missed his spinal column. Robert Perry thankfully was released but will carry the physical and emotional scars of Jacob Robida's horrific act of violence.

A formal donation site has been set up at KnowThyNeighbor.org for both online and mailed donations.

I won't be setting up the online format, but if you want to mail donations here is what you need to do (donations are tax deductible):

Make your check or money order payable to "Puzzles Victim's Fund" and send to:

St. Anne's Credit Union
c/o Puzzles Victim's Fund
PO Box 0 (zero)
Fall River, MA 02724

Love Casts Out Fear

Update: TN Marriage Story

2006-02-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: Judge Decides Marriage of Elderly Man Okay

As it should be!

The attorney for Vallaro's fiancee states:
"Today's victory for Mr. Varallo restored dignity to him as a person and as a man," said Nashville attorney Paul Housch. The decision affirms that people his age "can carry on a fulfilling life, a happy life and be active and live in this world happy."

That's all the rest of us ask for as well: to have our dignity, to live a fulfilling and happy life, and to live in this world happy.

Why do so many people want to stop that from happening?

Talk about Over the Top Nuts

2006-02-08T12:21:00.000-08:00

Now I've joked about wanting to secede from the union, but these folks mean it. This is just bizarro world.

Christian Exodus

They will start with cities in South Carolina and spread out to eventually take over local and state government and the judiciary.

Their Plan of Action includes:

To combine with the current Christian electorate in SC to "enable constitutionalists to win the city council, the county council, elected law enforcement positions, and elected judgeships. We will then be able to protect our God-given and constitutionally protected rights within our local community."

They will move from city to city in SC until "the General Assembly of the State is squarely in the hands of Christian Constitutionalists."

They are even establishing an online job board on emigrants to SC can find employment.

The goal of ChristianExodus.org is "the return of constitutionally limited government to the whole of these United States...[and it] will see to it that South Carolina resumes her governmental authority in these matters and that our counties and State ignore federal directives in violation of the 10th Amendment."

U.S. detention camps for political subversives

2006-02-07T09:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, this just freaks me the FUCK out!!! This isn't America! This CAN'T be America! WTF?! Are you people crazy or something to like this fascist? Jesus Christ!

U.S. detention camps for political subversives

In another shining example of modern day corporate fascism, it was announced recently that Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown and Root had been awarded a $385 million dollar contract by Homeland Security to construct detention and processing facilities in the event of a national emergency.

The language of the preamble to the agreement veils the program with talk of temporary migrant holding centers, but it is made clear that the camps will also be used "as the development of a plan to react to a national emergency."

Discussions of federal concentration camps is no longer the rhetoric of paranoid Internet conspiracy theorists, it is mainstream news.

Under the enemy combatant designation anyone at the behest of the US government, even if they are a US citizen, can be kidnapped and placed in an internment facility forever without trial. Jose Padilla, an American citizen, has spent over four years in a Navy brig and is only just now getting a trial.

In 2002, FEMA sought bids from major real estate and engineering firms to construct giant internment facilities in the case of a chemical, biological or nuclear attack or a natural disaster.

Okanogan County Commissioner Dave Schulz went public three years ago with his contention that his county was set to be a location for one of the camps.

Alex Jones has attended numerous military urban warfare training drills across the US where role players were used to simulate arresting American citizens and taking them to internment camps.

The move towards the database state in the US and the UK, where every offence is arrestable and DNA records of every suspect, even if later proven innocent, are permanently kept on record, is the only tool necessary to create a master list of 'subversives' that would be subject to internment in a manufactured time of national emergency.

The national ID card is also intended to be used for this purpose, just as the Nazis used early IBM computer punch card technology to catalogue lists of homosexuals, gypsies and Jews before the round-ups began.

Section 44 of the Terrorism Act in Britain enables police to obtain name and address details of anyone they choose, whether they are acting suspiciously or not. Those details remain on a database forever. To date, 119,000 names of political activists have been taken and this is a figure that will skyrocket once the post 7/7 figures are taken into account. At the height of the Iraq war protests, around a million people marched across the country. However, most of these people were taking part in a political protest for the first time and as a one off. Even if we take a figure of half, 500,000 people being politically active in Britain, that means that the government has already registered around a quarter of political activists in the UK.

In truth the number is probably above half because we are not factoring in those already on MI5 'subversive' lists and those listed after the 7/7 bombings, when the powers were used even more broadly.

Concurrently in the US, a new provision in the extended Patriot Act bill would allow Secret Service agents to arrest and jail protesters accused of breaching any security perimeter, even if the President or any other protected official isn't present. The definition of 'free speech zones' can be shifted around loosely and this would open the floodgates for protesters to be grabbed and hauled away in any circumstance at the whim of the Secret Service.

During the 2004 RNC protests, thousands of New Yorkers were arrested en masse in indiscriminate round-ups and taken to Pier 57 (pictured), a condemned, asbestos poisoned old bus depot, where they were imprisoned without charge for up to 24 hours or more.

The existence and development of internment camps are solely intended to be used to round up en masse and imprison 'political dissidents' (anyone who isn't prepared to lick government boots) after a simulated tactical nuke or biological attack on a major US or European city.

TN Judge to Decide if Elderly Man Can Marry Woman

2006-02-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, only in TN (okay, maybe not, but only in some backass backwards red state) would a family actually be going to court to keep their elderly father from marrying the woman he loves. So what if she's younger than him, if he's happy and wants to do it? First Terri Schaivo, and now this! When will everyone stop meddling in our personal lives?! WTF?!

"Part of being alive is being happy, I would assume," said Housch, the woman's lawyer.
"And you can see it in his eyes, you can see it in this man. The way he dresses, the way he looks, he's gleaming with joy, happiness and very proud to be with the one he loves."

Read the whole sordid story HERE!

Jacob Robida dies

2006-02-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

Jacob Robida, attacker of gay patrons of Puzzles in New Bedford, MA and ultimately the killer of a cop and a potentially his female companion, died Sunday after being shot by cops in a chase in Gassville, Arkansas.

His tragic death only leaves more questions, not answers. Though what he did was horrible and definitely hateful, I could never wish death on such a troubled soul. I would have rather he been caught, given a proper trial to do his time, to have the chance to provide some answers and insight, and hopefully see the error of his ways.

More on the story here.

Police also say they have found a written note at his mother's house, but they declined to release the contents of the message. Bristol County District Attorney Paul Walsh Jr. only said, "We didn't interpret it necessarily as a suicide note, but it was certainly the note of a desperate man who had some plans to continue doing something violent."

MA Bar Patrons Attacked & Injured

2006-02-03T19:06:00.000-08:00

Eighteen-year old suspect still on the loose.

Last night in New Bedford, a man walked into a gay bar and began attacking patrons with a gun and a hatchet. One person suffered a gunshot wound to the chest, another had a gunshot wound to the back and severe cuts to his face, and a third received multiple cuts. The attacker, identified by police as 18 year old Jacob Robida (see photo), then fled the scene.

According to several reports, Robida entered the bar, showed a fake ID, ordered a drink, then walked to the back of the bar by the pool tables and began attacking patrons. The bartender, at the time only self-identifying as Philip out of fear for his safety, described Robida as having a "stone-cold" and "emotionless" look. At one point he asked if the bar was a gay bar.

Robina maintained a website on MySpace.com where there is evidence of a disturbed, sociopathic personality, complete with a room plastered with swastikas and a love for weapons and violence.

What else can be said, I just don't have words. The small community of New Bedford has had an outpouring of support for the bar and its gay citizens. KnowThyNeighbor.org has been following the story closely and encouraging local officials such as MA Gov. Mitt Romney to break with party line to discourage hate crimes against minorities and draw MA citizens together.

Much to my surprise, John Kerry has spoken out against this vicious crime and is encouraging the support of federal hate crimes legislation.

It's time, beyond time.

Local TN Residents Find Hate in the Mail

2006-02-03T18:35:00.003-08:00

In a subdivision near Nashville, TN, some residents learned more about hate than they thought they'd probably every know and it was mailed to them at the comfort of their own home.

Residents find racially motivated letters in mailbox

Some Hermitage residents say they are shocked and disgusted by some racially filled pamphlets they received in their mailboxes. Printed on fluorescent paper, the letters convey a message that bashes people from a variety of ethnic and religious groups.

The big question now of course is who is responsible for this, and why do it now?

Residents of the Lakeridge subdivision say the letters showed up in their mailboxes on Wednesday.

"I was very upset. I have two small children, and that is not how we raise our children. For someone to think that in our neighborhood is very disturbing," said Christy Behnke, Neighbor.

The headline of the letter reads:

"Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, Africans, Jews, Gays -- Not Wanted in the Lakeridge Homeowners Association. Have your say."

Christy's neighbors say they are shocked.

"Myself, I could not imagine anyone filled with that much hatred that they would do something like that. It's 2006. This is ridiculous," said Mary Greer, Neighbor.

Bush Protest in Nashville

2006-02-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I attended a protest against Bush here in Nashville. I was making a guess that there were well over 100 people there because we had to spread out over two intersections. The kick ass blogger site Tennessee Guerilla Women confirmed that more like 200 were there! Of course, our local paper The Tennessean has been doing a little written masturbation of El Dictator for the last day or two saying he was warmly welcomed to Nashville. I guess he was asleep in the back of his stretch limo (you know, because he's so concerned about being "addicted to oil") that he missed this sign greeting him. I wonder if all of the other "dignitaries" arriving in their stretch SUV limos (there must have been 20 of them come through!) could see through all of that tinted glass.

Personally, I've never seen such nasty behavior from a bunch of political supporters. I got more "one-finger salutes" yesterday than I think I got through all of middle school. Is that the maturity level and mentality of Bush supporters? Is your best comeback a middle finger? Well, a lot WERE little boys in oversized business suits trying to act grown up. It was worse if they had a lot of them in one big ass SUV or just had some female they were trying to act alpha dog for. The saddest one was the middle-aged man with his teenage daughter. He reached over in front of her to throw his finger at us out the window and shout "F*** YOU!" She was laughing so the old saying "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is true. Hate is taught, not inate.

Some great organizations had put together lots of signs for us to use. I had a sign that said, "War is Un-Christian" so I think I got more obscene gestures than most people. Ironic, since flipping the bird is such a Christian thing to do.

Unfortunately, I had to leave before El Dictator got there, because contrary to popular fascist opinion, liberals do work. That's probably why there weren't more people there! They're working! So, I had to get back to it.

Tennessee Guerilla Women have done a fabulous job of covering the protest, and surprisingly, The Tennessean, did a decent job of mentioning the details of the protest, even the obscene gestures and getting a variety of comments.

I highly recommend reading some of the articles The Tennessean wrote yesterday and today. Some of the "pro-Bush" comments are kind of comical. Like, "Public speaking maybe isn't his gift, but I feel like when he feels comfortable, when he's with people who agree with him and understand him, he comes across as more articulate and more confident."

That just speaks for itself!

The Passing of a Legend

2006-01-31T18:00:00.000-08:00

Coretta Scott King passed away yesterday at the age of 78. May her soul rest in peace and her legacy live on!

“Once in a lifetime God grants us with the ability to witness an extraordinary life dedicated to justice. With Coretta Scott King and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., God smiled on us and fortunately granted us two,”said Solmonese. “When her husband was killed, Mrs. King assumed her husband’s role as the guiding light that led the way toward a more equal nation. She performed that role with enormous grace and strength, never relenting in the movement for civil rights. She saw justice as a birthright and lent her voice as a relentless advocate for all fair-minded Americans, gay or straight, black or white. We join the nation in mourning the loss of a great hero and give enormous gratitude for all that she’s left behind.”

Often speaking of the importance of civil rights for gay and lesbian people, Coretta Scott King said in March of 1998, “I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people and I should stick to the issue of racial justice. ... But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.’” Coretta Scott King also supported a federal bill prohibiting anti-gay discrimination.

Thanks to the Human Rights Campaign for paying tribute to this wonderful woman!

And more from Mrs. King...the unmistakable knowledge that equality and justice are not limited to the privileged few but open to us all.

Speaking before nearly 600 people at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel,
Coretta Scott King, the wife of the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Tuesday called on the civil rights community to join in the struggle against homophobia and anti-gay bias. "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood," King stated. "This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group." - Chicago Defender, April 1, 1998, front page.

Quoting a passage from her late husband's writing, Coretta Scott King
reaffirmed her stance on gay and lesbian rights Tuesday at a luncheon
celebrating the 25 anniversary of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, a national gay rights organization. "We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny . . . I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be," she said, quoting her husband. "I've always felt that homophobic attitudes and policies were unjust and unworthy of a free society and must be opposed by all Americans who believe in democracy,"

Source: hatecrime.org

On Alito

2006-01-30T18:22:00.000-08:00

I've been holding off on my thoughts about Alito until I knew what was going to happen. Not like I didn't know what was going to happen, but I wanted to believe in hope.

I'm not the only person upset tonight. I've visited other blogs and found quite a few that have a common thought: Fuck it, fuck it all!!! Lots of people are quiting the party. When you have 14 Democrats without the balls to stand up, what else can you feel? Others are REALLY pissed off and ready for a take over of this party. When we can't scare up 25 votes over a person like Alito (an unabashed racist and womanhater, not to mention what else), how can we hope that anything else can stand muster?

The few amount of gay rights we have gained over the years, like WA state getting a gay rights law passed in the last few days is already under attack, and bound to be overturned by an extremist court that only has one objective. Keep the right extremists in power.

I know that a lot of people don't like to hear talk like this because it sounds too much like Republican talk, but I think it's past time we demand "toeing the party line". We MUST demand this of Democrat candidates and clean out the dirt and stench that has infiltrated a once proud party. Democrats have for so long stood for equality and civil rights, but now are scared of the "L" word in these fucking red states. There's too many weak legislators that don't understand what it REALLY means to be a Democrat. We have to "set the tone" and demand they get in line. Those that don't can join the other party. After all, that's what Republicans are there for now. To be racists and bigots and haters of all that is American.

Again, fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. Screw anyone that has voted for these fascist pigs. This is what you wanted. A court that has no regard for the Constitution, has no regard for individual rights, for women to control their body, and for minorities to be equal citizens with the majority.

If you have a problem with this, then YOU ARE A BIGOT!!! No more apologies and no more regrets for the things we say. YOU ARE WRONG to support this administration and Alito. It may be 5, 10, or 15 years but you will see the folly of your ways.

Perhaps I'll get railed over this, but I don't see any other way. Like many of you, I want to take this country back and I want more Democrats in office, but I want the RIGHT kind of Democrats in office. If you all can tell me a better way than "toeing the party line," I'll be glad to hear it.

I refuse to have Republican-lite claiming Democrat as their party. Don't dirty our party with your filth!

Ironic Follow-up on "The Book of Daniel"

2006-01-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, so NBC completely dumps "The Book of Daniel" and as par for the course the American Family Association is claiming it's all because of them.

AFA Chair Don Wildmon was quoted as saying:

“This shows the average American that he doesn’t have to simply sit back and take the trash being offered on TV, but he can get involved and fight back with his pocketbook.”

Don, are those the same pocketbooks that are opening for "Brokeback Mountain"? Teehee

Anyway, the biggest irony is that this "trash" is being replaced with re-runs of "Law & Order."

Supposedly, it's much more wholesome and family-oriented to tell stories of murder, adultery, rape, and incest than a priest with a not-so-picture-perfect family. Now, if the priest had kicked his gay son out of the house in the first episode, the show would have been lauded as "groundbreaking" and "classicly American."

Hypocrites!

FL Signature Collectors not Successful

2006-01-29T06:48:00.000-08:00

Or at least not as successful as those in MA where it's been reported that upwards of 2,000 signatures were gathered under false pretenses so that terrible thing called marriage equality can be stopped.

Story here

With only about a week left organizers of a proposed amendment to prevent same-sex marriage in Florida remain several hundred thousand signatures short of the requirement.

Members of the group Florida-4-Marriage say they have collected about 300,000 of the approximately 600,000 signatures needed for a vote on the amendment in November.
...
Part of the problem said Florida-4-Marriage campaign chair John Stemberger is the February 1 deadline by which the petitions must be in. That's earlier than in previous years, thanks to a measure pushed by state Republicans.

Ironically it is the GOP that wants to see the amendment put to voters.

The party has been the campaign's biggest sponsor. Last week an investigation by the St. Petersburg Times into funding for Florida4Marriage has found that of the $193,000 that has been raised by the group $150,000 came from a single donor - the Florida Republican Party.

Yet Gov. Jeb Bush, the titular head of the party, publicly said in 2004 that he is opposed to an amendment and a spokesperson for the Governor said Bush was not aware of the donation.

If Florida-4-Marriage fails to get the measure on the November ballot it would make Florida the second state where a proposed amendment banning gay marriage has failed.

In California one group attempting to put a proposed amendment banning gay marriage before California voters failed to submit the signatures required for the June 2006 ballot but said it is working to see the issue put to voters in November. A second group is also trying get its version on the fall ballot but concedes it too is having trouble collecting signatures.

Voters this year will be asked to approve proposed amendments limiting marriage to opposite sex-couples in Alabama, South Carolina, South Dakota and Tennessee.

It seems Americans are wising up to this game. Eliminating an entire group from equal opportunity, equal access, equal protection under the law, and in general life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is VERY un-American.

Latest on Dying Cop's Last Wish

2006-01-29T06:35:00.000-08:00

Ocean County freeholders officially voted on Jan. 25th to allow Lauren Hester to transfer her pension benefits to her partner, Stacie Andree, so Stacie won't lose their home when Lauren inevitably dies of cancer.

Republicans who in the past have opposed recognizing same-sex couples feared a voter backlash after news coverage of the Hester case and Ocean County lawmakers' refusal to be moved by an emotional appeal the dying woman made last week from her hospital room.

Appearing weak, and breathing with the help of a machine, she said on a video tape that was played in the council chamber she feared partner Stacie Andree would lose the home they shared after Hester dies.

Wednesday Hester showed up at the freeholder's meeting against the advice of her doctor. She was in a wheelchair and hooked up to any oxygen tank. A mask covered her face and hands.

The 4 - 0 vote, with one absentee, was greeted with applause and cheers from dozens of gays who packed the chamber.

Following the vote in a voice barely audible Hester thanked the freeholders saying it "was democracy at its best."

"The freeholders today were kind, elegant, compassionate in their feelings," Steven Goldstein of Garden State Equality told 365Gay.com

Goldstein said "it was a surrealistic moment...only a few weeks ago [the freeholders] were some of the toughest opponents I have ever encountered.

New Jersey state law allows local government to provide benefits to the same-sex partners of their workers. As a result of the Hester case a number of communities that had not already done so quickly moved to amend their laws.

The comments of Hester and Goldstein are MORE than kind. This poor woman should have never gone through this anguish and torment. No one should ever have to worry if their partner will be okay after they are gone. BUT, as usual, politicians were concerned about votes, not the person in need.

Sometimes, you just have to do what is right and good for others. The saying "death is the great equalizer" certainly has new meaning in this case. It seems Lauren has changed some hearts and minds in the most painful and heartbreaking way.

Political Test

2006-01-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(80% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(13% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test